nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, July 26, 2011
  2. Monday, July 25, 2011

    today is missc’s birthday, shes 24 

    we first met in a brief but amazing twenty minutes when i traveled around the globe and stopped off in toronto to sing karaoke and taste wines.

    her jealous then-boyfriend knew of the powers of the busblog and like arcade fire kept the car running as his stunning blogging gf rushed around saying hi to everyone including yrs truly

    as if carrie would give me the time of day.

    also, it was night.

    i was barely able to put words into sentences as ive always liked her blog and now she shows off even more by making the most amazingly looking cakes and cupcakes youve ever seen.

    thus shes changed her blog name to Carrie Cakes.

    two new years’s ago i found myself back in canadas biggest city and i lucked out and was kidnapped by carrie and her disgusting but sorta hilarious pal pauley. they drove me through the snow to a crazy fun town up in the mountains.

    we soaked in a hut tub as the huge snowflakes floated down on us as we sported clockwork orange makeup and reminisced about her air hockey prowess.

    recently carrie’s bff courtney came to LA and we ate good food and talked about carrie and we both lit up as we did. shes a special girl with a cute accent and i wish she would ship her delicacies to the states. dont you?

    in the meantime happy birthday carrie cakes, inventor of the two cakes one cup delight that has spread across canada like this summers heat wave.

  3. im eating cheez-its for breakfast 

    someone just won $61 million in the lottery. the news is saying they bought the ticket in Anaheim. so close!

    if i won $61 million of course thered be a huge vegas party.

    but eventually id end up with a home in malibu with a hot tub, etc

    but the one thing every millionaire needs is a personal chef. and because i eat at odd hours id probably need two.

    or else id be doing like im doing now, eating cheez-its out of the box reading the paper

    waiting for the working week to start.

    do you know i love you?

    its so true.

    why is it that lately ive been so excited on Mondays and Fridays.


    but of what?

    saturday Rage Against the Machine plays at the LA Coliseum

    with Lauren Hill, Rise Against, and Muse.

    great show, eh? but im so old i keep thinking id pass out if i was there all day and all night.

    karisa and i barely escaped with our lives the last time Rage played here almost exactly 1 year ago.

    also known as the best show ive ever seen at that spectacular venue.

    we’ll see what this week brings.

  4. Sunday, July 24, 2011

    karisa was all you gotta check out crystal antlers new one 

    and she knows her crazyass rock. i was all is that the one with the raymond pettibone cover

    two way mirrorshe was all yup.

    i was all arent they the punk band with the organ player.

    she was like uh huh.

    it always fascinated me that its taken so long for people to realize that

    as zeppelin matured john paul jones put down the bass

    and got behind the organ, playing the bass with the pedals.

    and filling in all the other colors with the keyboard.

    the eleven songs come in at just over a half hour

    she said. i said i got a half hour.

    Pitchfork on “Two-Way Mirror“:

    “Sure, they might not have the classicist songwriting chops of the Fresh & Onlys or Sonny and the Sunsets, but none of those bands rock this hard either. That stuff is for summer BBQs and backyard parties; Two-Way Mirror is what to spin at the point when you stop caring about noise complaints.”

  5. heres how crazy i am 

    a normal person would say omg good catch kid. and go on with their day.

    me, i read the post in Deadspin and it says the 9-yr-old kid did it during practice.


    as someone who many moons ago coached 9 year olds in little league

    i can confidentially tell you that there are no umpires at practice

    the cubs dont wear their uniforms

    and there sure as hell arent lots of applauding parents in the stands

    videotaping their little angels’ every move.

    even pros dont care about practice as allen iverson taught us.

    but even more suspicious is that umpire.

    why is he/she crouching down to call balls and strikes to baseballs being shot through a pitching machine?

    are machines that erratic that they dont make it over the plate?

    i trust the centerfielder caught the ball and no trickery was done there

    but the whole thing seems like a puzzle youd see in the sunday comics

    “whats wrong with this picture”

    errrything, if you ask me


    sunday morning 

    almost every sunday morning i listen to this velvet underground song.

    to me its the most perfect gentle tune to slowly do all the sunday things to

    walk barefoot down the driveway to get the paper

    pour orange juice

    make oatmeal

    think about reading the bible

    “watch out, the world’s behind you…”

    lately ive learned the best way to stretch out the weekend is to  do the most partying on friday.

    that way saturday morning feels like sunday morning.

    but if you dont play the velvets you still have an extra day in store for you.

    karisa and i pigged out on sushi friday night, and sake, and beers.

    it was our second sushi night in the week.

    last night was thai with ali.

    to the outside world i have the perfect life.

    to my belly its so bountiful that  it grows to accommodate more.

    would my days be improved by kids, a mortgage, and a job i couldnt totally master immediately?

    and yet thats what i think i should be doing: setting up all these obstacles that would diminish the likelihood

    of waking up gently on the lords day in such peace and satisfaction

    and turning on lou reeds stoney classic.

    do i really want the pitter patter of cries and screams and nickelodeon blasting in the AM?

    all my friends seem to not only manage, but love it.

    i know this because the divorce rate among my peers is ridiculously low.

    i think part of my reluctance is id never wanna scar the future of america

    i wouldnt want to bore my betrothed.

    and i would hate to not totally rule at my job.

    i hear so many bands who are horrible.

    ive dealt with people who really arent good at what they do.

    and seen too many secretly miserable people in deadend relationships.

    why would i wanna do that to someone i loved?

    or worse, to a little kid who was minding his own busines.

    we all know theres a place for all of us in the now and in the future.

    especially if we just let our destinies manifest themselves naturally

    instead of trying to squeeze into the slipper

    meant for cinderella.

    our hearts are too big to fail.

  7. Saturday, July 23, 2011

    Lady Gaga tells fans don’t do drugs and wait as long as possible to have sex 

    howard stern was only on the air three days this week but he had one of the best interviews of the month

    with of all people lady gaga

    who for some reason im not a fan of even though she basically stole the show at the yoko ono spectacular

    and gave one of the best live performances ever on howard this week

    maybe what turns me off is all that studio production dance pop crap she smears all over her records

    stripped down and just behind the piano you can see why elton john wanted her to be his kids godmother.

    shes got it.


    amy winehouse, r.i.p 

    My odds are stacked
    I’ll go back to black…
    We only said good-bye with words
    I died a hundred times
    You go back to her
    And I go back to black

    – Amy Winehouse, “Back to Black”, Belgrade, June 2011

    Amy Winehouse played several shows at SXSW in 2006. She was the hype that spring.

    I didn’t go to the first show, couldnt get into the second show the next night and people told me I wasn’t missing anything.

    Then someone said, doesnt matter, you need to see her.

    So the third night I went, stood in the back, and spent way more time watching the background singers dance than enjoyed her because, she wasn’t that enjoyable that night.

    Later I saw a live video of her from London where she gave a shout out to her parents in the audience and wore a pretty dress and seemed fine and sang well.

    She definately had a cool style and because she totally played everything by her own rules, including never replacing her missing side tooth, I have had a picture of her in my bedroom next to Chuck Berry.

    Obvs one is way more of a musical genius than the other but they’re both what I love about rock n roll: style, substance, courage, and defiance.

    Watch how in the video above she is getting booed by an audience in Belgrade and she appears to struggle between doing what she does for a living and flipping off the paying crowd. It’s both fascinating and miserable.

    If I had been shooting the video I would have probably stopped half way through because she is clearly suffering.

    Scratching her arms, wobbling, unsure how to even put down a mic stand.

    If precision is what audiences wanted instead of trainwrecks, Math Rock and Prog would be way more popular.

    But the reason why the most interesting music is rooted in the blues is because humans know innately that we are a flawed beast

    running, some quicker than others,

    to the abyss.

  9. Friday, July 22, 2011

    three of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet 

    you never know where they’ll pop up.

    so funny, when i first walked into the la times and i sat at the security guard area waiting for my interview

    and i thought about all of the people who were on the other side of the door

    i thought everyone in there would be mean older white dudes.

    gruff, angry, bitter, etc.

    a bunch of mike roykos.

    im happy to report that inside that building is really a cross section of LA

    lots of different people of all sorts. some roykos, some tonys

    some lindsays, some jevons, and some loras.

    its beautiful.

  10. nevermind turns twenty soon so i listened to it 

    i just laid on my bed and listened.

    i tried to remember the first time i heard it all the way through

    but i got caught up in how great it sounded from my iphone to my dumb bedside ihome clock radio

    and it made me so sad. every thing made me sad.

    twenty years later and even arcade fire cant touch it.

    who can?

    who sings like that?

    sincere even when not.

    and still so genuine. so real. so strong.

    i got up after something in the way and saw myself in the mirror across the hall.

    shirtless, fat, bald, twenty years older than when i played teen spirit on college radio

    having no clue what it was that i was doing.

    and i saw i had white socks, sandals, and south park pj pants.

    and i thought, i guess im doing something right.