nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, August 24, 2011

    this is kristin pony at her last jobplace 

    this is kristin at her new, current workplace:

    who doesnt love before and afters?

    to refresh your memory, heres an interview with yr girl seven freakin years ago

    but even before that, and this is part of Very Important busblog history…

    but way back when, when kristin was still in college and her sister Whatshername was in high school

    the younger mad pony pretended in their blog that someone had stabbed and murdered me

    the very next day i riffed off that and pretended for 40 days that i was dead and was writing from another dimension

    the results were the best parts of How to Blog, and the entirety of Stiff.

    so i always have much love from our OK friends.

  2. Tuesday, August 23, 2011
  3. smelly danielly hits it out of the park once again 

    this use to be us - smelly danielly

    the general rule of thumb in blogging is when a hot babe gets a boyfriend she kills her blog.

    usually its cuz men are jealous losers and get weirded out when their sig other still has the beacon out there saying here i am here i am.

    when said woman gets hitched not only does her man influence her to pull the plug,

    but oftentimes she loses her audience as well.

    two looooooongtime bloggers i have been reading for years have ducked that sad trend.

    leah over at vacant.cc has only blossomed as a young wife and mother and her site has only gotten better over time

    and our pal smelly danielly up in vancouver bc didnt lose a step when she made chadly the luckiest man in town.

    however scrolling through her post today i had to stop because she is SOOOOO RIGHT

    and those tiny little truths are what personal blogging, to me, are all about.

    which is why i wish more people, especially smart people, blogged.

  4. tom waits would like a word with you about privacy 

    tom waits

    i have been known to test a lady or two.

    subtle pop quiz, nothing serious.

    for example one day i put on a tom waits album to see if the poor creature would be able to withstand making out with me


    listening to one a finer vintage of Waits’. Rain Dogs or Franks Wild Year i think.

    its not that he doesnt have his romantic moments. of course he does. its just as todd martens said

    “you cant just throw on Tom Waits and dim the lights, you have to curate it.”

    with that said, Napa’s Shakespeare has a funny way of announcing when his new ish is fixin to drop

    as he did today, brilliantly, on the YouTubes

  5. how klout can get it together and become more powerful than they ever dreamed 

    Far be it for me to disagree with the motor city poet, Sir Bob Seger, who once sang “I’m a man, not a number.”

    But we are numbers.

    if not social security numbers, drivers license numbers, credit scores, and zip codes,

    we are definitely, for surely, zeroes and ones in the database of life.

    Klout, a fledgling frisco start up, wants to attempt to assign a number to your social media prowess and influence based on what you publicize and how the network responds to you.

    seems simple enough, those who have a lot of twitter followers and facebook friends will invariably say something and depending on its importance, wit, or timeliness will get a reaction from those in that circle.

    if you have a relatively large circle, and that circle pays attention to you and echoes what you say, your klout score, rises.

    if people stop retweeting what you say and/or unfollow or defriend you, your number goes down.

    strangely your number goes up and down depending if you sign up with Klout and give them access to your social media accounts

    which is the first thing Klout should change

    if Klout really wanted to be the judge and jury of the Internet’s most important number, they should punish people for signing up with Klout.

    since all of this is is a rerun of high school, everyone knows the super hot babe isnt going to join yr nerd club – which only makes her hotter. likewise the only people who would hand over omg Everything to let you join yr lame-o club is less hot.

    same should go for Klout. if you can attract a big audience of people who repeat what you say or play off what you write, and you can do it without signing up with someone li

    ke Klout, you actually have what Klout is attempting to rate.

    likewise if you are some publicist or marketing person, trying to pump up your client’s virtual Q-score by giving away all kinds of crazy access to your benefactor’s social media back end, your number should be deducted.

    indeed, you should lose 20 points. why 20? because thats how much you lose if you use Klout and then stop letting them have access to your teet.

    If Klout is a radar detector and someone is flying under the radar, that’s not Klout’s fault. And if Klout was really trying to provide an accurate score they should say “sorry they aren’t appearing on our screen.”

    People will invariably sign up with a powerful Klout even if they lost points off of it, and when that happens Klout should see how social media companies treat the individuals’ data. If a company like Flickr, lets say, gives a company like Klout private information about Flickr users’ private photos – even if the user said it’s ok – Klout should ding Flickr users points for synching their info to Klout.

    Why? Because a savvy Internet person, with actual clout, would never agree to handing over data labeled private to a third person that has barely existed. And a photo sharing company that cannot parse private data from public data is not a primo company.

    “It’s impossible to separate private data from public data to share with third parties through APIs,” the primo company might say.

    Here’s what Klout should say in response: “are you kidding me? there are probably 25 kids on Reddit right now, living in Frisco, who could do it. Your company is now dinged 20 points until you learn that private really truly honestly means private even if your customer foolishly waives their rights with a misguided click of their finger.”

    Since Klout is running around giving people scores, who better to judge than corporations, since as Mitt Romney says, they’re people too m’friend.

    What will happen is Klout will start influencing internet companies by how they punish and reward people who use those products.

    Klout will get rich.

    And they will congratulate themselves for listening to my advice, placing me on their board,

    and hiring me as VP of Swagger.



    one reason they’re my favorite band is cuz they keep it real 

    Tommy Stinson on a possible Replacements reunion:

    “Why would we do it The only reason we would ever do it would be to get paid. We’re not going to recapture anything. I think I could probably have fun with it though. It’d probably be a short-lived moment of having fun with it, but I ultimately think it might not be very good to try and go back.”

    the other reason is cuz they rock

  7. Monday, August 22, 2011

    time flies but we all look younger 

    One of the sweet young ladies from the Thirsty Thursday crew, Anne, who every boy had a crush on, including me, reminisced today in her Facebook

    About 20 years ago, Tony Pierce says “this great new band is playing for free today, I think you should go see them.” Which I did. The lead singer was SO RUDE to the crowd that I thought to myself “They’ll never make it with an attitude like that.”

    The band?

    Jane’s Addiction.

    Because of the wonders of video mixed with the miracle that is the Internet, this video above might be precisely the moment that Anne is referring to.

    I got to meet Perry a few years ago at SXSW and asked him if he remembered how agressive he was with the young crowd and the MTV cameras trying to capture the rise of Jane’s on the beach side California college town.

    The band had just done something like 7 sold out shows in a row in Hollywood and they had committed to play the free gig at UCSB.

    Nothings Shocking had come out and quickly became our Houses of the Holy.

    “Yes I remember that show,” Perry told me as MGMT played behind us. “I wore green boots.”

  8. dear klout, (you can change anything) 

    i went to this park yesterday. relatively new park that promised one could walk in it barefoot because dogs there were illegal.

    thus so was the doggie poopie.

    but when i got there a water pipe had burst and seemed to have been flowing for at least a day.

    since it was Sunday, i guess no one was going to fix it.

    as they say, shit happens. which is fine when its water or, shit, but when its private stuff, just flowing out there, thats… a problem.

    it was nice of you to write me about my outrage that you’d want access to the photos and videos that i have marked private.

    sass in silver lake

    Hey Tony,

    I’m the Marketing Manager here at Klout and want to let you know that your private photos will definitely stay private. We are asking for the lowest level of permissions flickr allows which is read-only access and does include private photos (we can’t change that). However, we NEVER use your auth to display photos, or look at them or share them. Instead, our algorithm looks at the response your photos are getting — i.e. are people commenting, favoriting them etc. We will never access or use your private information. Hope that helps.

    but here’s the problem i have (you can change anything and if you cant yr a follower, not a leader, thus zero “klout”).

    i dont trust that a ginormous tech company like Yahoo and a start up tech company like Klout can’t figure out a technical way to capture those ancillary aspects of my public photos and videos without exposing anything about my private content.

    private means private. and if you don’t truly fathom that concept or value that goal, then you don’t deserve access to any thing i am giving you permission to have.

    secondly, the internet has not been around for very long and it appears that the main goal for most start ups is to sell itself to huge companies.

    like how Flickr sold itself to Yahoo.

    if even in idealistic startup mode you cannot work with Flickr and others in such a way that you receive zero information about my private materials then what’s going to happen a few years down the road when you sell out to AT&T or AOL or TMZ or Murdoch or whoever is suddenly interested in a company with millions of people’s truly private data

    who has just ranked, in order, who that corporation should feel giddy about gaining access to, literally, their back end.

    or how about the hacker group who would be crazy not to attempt to break into the puny start up instead of the megacorp? what a better way into my private data than going through you than thru facebook twitter and yahoo?

    one of the best things about technology is that Anything is possible if you want it to be possible.

    (we can’t change that) is the battle hymn of the lost, not the victorious.

    when you seriously want to seriously take the matter of privacy totally seriously and stop falling for the “omg thats the best we can do, LOL whoops”

    and worse, passing that mediocrity over to your customer,

    then you will be on the right path to establishing trust with me and others who are way more (justly) paranoid than i.

    meanwhile i’m going to revoke your access to the accounts i foolishly trusted you with, because i dont think you’re ready for it right now.

    feel free to figure out how to judge my public online heft by, i dont know, things that i do publicly. which is plenty.

    we expect you to be better than this, No Cal.

  9. Sunday, August 21, 2011