1. Monday, August 1, 2011

    yes thats a real mike tyson tattoo 

    ali likes palms place, karisa likes hard rock,

    but for some reason when i come to vegas i like the hooters hotel.

    its cheesy, its ghetto, and in many ways it actually does harm to their brand more than helping it.

    which is perhaps why i can relate.

    the people are nice and its cheap, and you never feel underdressed

    which is why when the guy with the mike tyson face tattoo sidled next to me

    telling me of his days as a stripper wrangler and nude male dancer

    i knew i had done the right thing by not going to luxor.

    he told me that he worked at an establishment that had dudes upstairs and ladies downstairs.

    apparently in vegas you need a business license to strip, and you get computer generated receipts each night.

    he had figured out a scam where he would “manage” a dozen or so girls, do their taxes and paper work

    obtain contraband and be their security when theyd perform acts of prostitution.

    all for the low low price of 20%.

    while he was talking the xbi txted me “use the suite at caesars. our condolences.”

    this guy was from detroit. we were sitting at the hooters bar where budweiser was a dollar.

    karisa txted me “shouldnt they be free”?

    should. lets not get started in the world of should.

    bro told me that as romantic and ideal managing 12 beautiful strippers may sound,

    they can tend to become erratic especially when drugs and alcohol are involved.

    violence. he said. knives. half naked drugged up thieving strippers with knives.

    i was all you need to write these things down. he was all, i cant write.

    so i said ok when you were stripping, were the ladies good tippers?

    he said, yes but the gay guys were better. unfortunately my buddy had mixed feelings about that

    and eventually quit after just a few weeks. he did say they had a self tanner in the dressing room.

    he said a lot of sex was had in the champagne room. for money.

    i said, why wouldnt people just drive how ever miles away it is to do it legally?

    he said it cost a lot of money in the legal areas.

    some dude on his way out handed me a 2 for 1 drink coupon he had gotten.

    i asked the waitress if they had Bailey’s Irish Cream, which i like to sip at night if im out at a bar.

    she said they had something like Sherry’s Special Creme or something. so i got a double of that

    and bro told me more tales.

    i was all, can i take a picture of your mike tyson tattoo?

    he was all, sure.

    and i told him the story of the last time i was at the hooters hotel, which was the night i met mike tyson.

    i thought i saw him in the dark club, but i wasnt sure, so i circled around to see if that face tattoo was there

    and when i saw it i was all omg champ.

    detroit dude goes, well now it might be me.