im not saying the boss’s daughter is involved in the cix, canadas xbi

mounties in ottawa

but last night she was giggling aboot something and this morning she woke me up
saying hear that? hear that?
i said all i hear is a buzzing in my ears cuz its too early o’clock.
she was like its bagpipes! the official instrument of the cix!
i was all, who cares about the cix or anything at this hour other than the zzz?
but shes so cute, america, it was hard not to look at her beaming and jumping around

and before i knew it i was dressed (if shorts and an AC/DC shirt counts as dressed)
and when we got out of our hotel room we saw this:

mounties in ottawa

i was all wtf. she was like LOL.
and i said, ok im going back upstairs to bed cuz this is either a nightmare or a dream
and when i turned around i saw this:

special agent in canada

and i looked back at her and she was smiling so bright it was nuts.
i was all, Lucho’s daughter isnt cix are you?
and she just kept smiling.
and i was like, wait are you trying to get me to be part of canadas undercover superheros?

and she was all i dont even know what youre talking about. and smiled even bigger.
then this guy turned around and said, i dont know what youre talking abooot either

cix agent maple

and then the bagpipes started going again

bagpipes

and then the drums, my beloved drums, started beating

and then the mounties on motorcycles

picked me up and drove me to a helicopter

and took me to this castle

mysterious castle

where i write you tonight where i am weighing some fascinating options

and eating poutine.

ottawa blogger party represent!

tina h., one of my favorite ottawa bloggers from way back in the day (pictured, left) noticed i was in town and just happened to be throwing a bash mere blocks away from our hotel

so we decided to run into a liquor store to pick up some brewskis, wine, and champagne

but guess what America?

aint no such thing as a liquor store in Ontario – and all the government run operations (The Beer Store, and the LickBO) close around 2:45pm.

so we had to arrive at the party empty handed.

no matter, Tina had some fine cuban rum and some excellent conversations already in the hizzy.

so we talked movies, sports, politics, and the wonders of Ottawa which people for some reason still dont think id be interested in but of course i am, this place rules.

not only does the city not punish you for wanting to have a bit of a night life,

but they cleaned up the heroin hang outs underneath the little mini tunnels,

there’s poutine around almost every corner,

and the weather has been spectacularly mild if not perfectly warm.

tinas party had lots of cool folk, really good music, and i loved how everyone took off their shoes once inside the spacious crib.

not only that but also in attendance was one of the xbi’s first black canadian agents, colin x. (pictured, far right) who i was so excited to meet because i thought he was only someone the agency made up in our training manuals.

freakin love ottawa!

earlier in the day we went to the best Indian food place ive ever eaten at, Indian Express, where we had butter chicken and some veggie dishes and some sweet treats.

the boss’s daughter used to go there as a child and the dude remembered her and stopped cooking to talk with us for a while.

all over the walls were business cards of all of his famous customers and polticians and wayne gretzky and erryone.

i was all, whats your secret?

he was like, dont skimp on the expensive ingredients.

speaking of famous customers, earlier in the day we went to the Market and they were selling Obama cookies so i had to try one. they tasted like Canada!

its what Obama ate when he came up here in 2009.

they still arent over it.

it was the perfect dessert after our amazing shawarmas.

but the funniest moment of the day happened right after we left the hotel for a long walk. we saw this homeless dude RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the Ontario Employment agency begging for change

with some incredibly effective fishing tackle and a bi-lingual sign.

the LOLs were definitely worth the Looney i flipped him.