im not saying the boss’s daughter is involved in the cix, canadas xbi

mounties in ottawa

but last night she was giggling aboot something and this morning she woke me up
saying hear that? hear that?
i said all i hear is a buzzing in my ears cuz its too early o’clock.
she was like its bagpipes! the official instrument of the cix!
i was all, who cares about the cix or anything at this hour other than the zzz?
but shes so cute, america, it was hard not to look at her beaming and jumping around

and before i knew it i was dressed (if shorts and an AC/DC shirt counts as dressed)
and when we got out of our hotel room we saw this:

mounties in ottawa

i was all wtf. she was like LOL.
and i said, ok im going back upstairs to bed cuz this is either a nightmare or a dream
and when i turned around i saw this:

special agent in canada

and i looked back at her and she was smiling so bright it was nuts.
i was all, Lucho’s daughter isnt cix are you?
and she just kept smiling.
and i was like, wait are you trying to get me to be part of canadas undercover superheros?

and she was all i dont even know what youre talking about. and smiled even bigger.
then this guy turned around and said, i dont know what youre talking abooot either

cix agent maple

and then the bagpipes started going again

bagpipes

and then the drums, my beloved drums, started beating

and then the mounties on motorcycles

picked me up and drove me to a helicopter

and took me to this castle

mysterious castle

where i write you tonight where i am weighing some fascinating options

and eating poutine.