know what rhymes with a sushi place with cute little boats of sushi floating by?

fly in my sushi

hey bro does that look like a super dooper happy and now sleeping fly?

ok so that isnt the best rhyme but whatevs, it was decent fish and i’ll be back.

it was 100 degrees today in LA just like what Jackie Johnson promised.

98 degrees

i love LA when its hot but heres what i dont like

i dont like strip malls that have a mini Post Office

and a mini Postal Store 200 feet away from each other.

heres why: dudes like me will type in “post office” in google maps and murphys law

will walk into the Postal Store instead of the Post Office

thus when i waltz in attempting to buy a stamp to send a letter across town

i will get charged 75 cents from the store owner trying to make a profit on stamps.

“yes but i only want a normal stamp,” says i.

“yep, normal stamp 75,” says he as he unpeels the forever stamp, places it on my envelope

and pats it down professionally,

in a manner that says “this pat alone is worth the extra 31 cents.”

fly in my boat in sushi

100 degree temps

overpriced stamps.

i clearly need some organic beer at a neux veux vegan brewery that has valet.

mohawk blend, here i come!

buyer beware when you hand Prince $2,100 for something special

Two years ago Prince offered the Prince Opus, which was a huge photo book documenting his 21-night stand at London’s O2 arena, a special iPod, and inside the iPod 45 minutes of rare video content.

all for the low low price of $2,100.

Once all 950 units of the Opus was sold, Prince would pick one of the customers and write them a check for $21,000. So yes, you could get the item and possibly increase your investment by 10 times.

2.5 years after he bought the Opus, one gentleman received the book, the iPod, and the exclusive content.

as you hear from the video he made last week, he was less than thrilled.

A fool and his money…

Greatest Birthday Gift I could Ever Want

My birthday is in 10 days.

In 10 days my mom is sending me pajama pants. Good gift!

In 10 days the Boston Red Sox, who have lost their desire to be reasonable, are sending the Cubs their Not So Secret Weapon.

Better Gift!

Theo is the locally grown brain child who along with Brad Pitt and Moneyball made the Oakland A’s perennial playoff attendees

and then won the world series with Boston

is now on his way to the Friendly Confines to remove the Curse from the Cubs.

just for me

for my birthday.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!