i was all i have no idea who youre talking about

they were like We have been monitoring your gmail. We know everything.

at that point i knew XBIsucks666 was a bad idea for a password

the boss’s daughter never made it to America, i bluffed, you stopped her at the border

Then whats this picture all about? they asked, and emailed me the photo you see above.

photoshop is a powerful piece of software i said. theres pics of me floating around with an afro and a handlebar moustache.

Have her bags packed. The boss will arrive at your location at 8am. Don’t keep him waiting, and do not disappoint him.

i said, shes not here.

they said, see that car across the street? i looked out my window and it blew up.

and i laughed, but inside i was dying.