dear tony, should i wear my ticket in a plastic ticket holder?

raiders ticket

Dear Tony,

I have tickets to a football game on Sunday. Pretty good seats. I should mention I drink a lot. Also, I pee a lot. I’ve seen people get plastic cases that you slip your tiket in and wear around your neck. It seems practicle. Something about it feels wrong. Is it? Jets over Pats!

dear jets fan,

youre going to a football game.

its impossible to look dumb at an nfl game on a sunday.

raider nation in full effectyou can wear makeup, you can paint your whole body, you can wear cheese heads

you can put entire grizzly bear heads on your head

you can carry a miniature picket fence and a letter D

you can dress like santa

you can wear a complete darth vader outfit.

yes you can tie your ticket around your neck so when you get drunk you wont have to dig through your pockets.

you live in America.


i know things have changed a lot.

i know erryones poor.

but somehow you got expensive seats to a three hour sporting event on the Lord’s Day

you should be able to show that usher that you belong.

maybe the most important goal we have as humans: acceptance.

you know you dont *really* belong there. i know it too.

but that little piece of paper says different.

that tiny document makes everythign better.

dont lose it.