seven ways Disneyland can improve

poor R2

1. put up a strong, free, reliable WiFi for guests to the park: people are paying about $100 just to enter the place, let alone major bucks for food, drink, and crap. most of them spend hours in line. let them access the internet to a) let the world know they are at your park, b) let them get their work done since their whole day is shot at your park c) let them entertain themselves while waiting for you to entertain them. this will enhance their experience and help people advertise what a great freaking time theyre having as theyre having it.

2) quit it with the gauging. $8.50 for a turkey leg? $7.50 for a pretzel? you’re Disney, you’re rolling in it. in many ways people are going to leave with advertisements for your parks movies and tv shows. let them feel good about buying tons of that. but when you gauge them they wont have any money left for that extra Mickey sweatshirt. i know youre a business. i understand capitalism. but one day this bubble will pop. stop being part of the problem, especially against the middle class.

3) get more characters out in the park. yesterday we were there from 10am-5pm. we saw ZERO characters. the only one we saw was Darth Vader, and he was on stage fighting with little kids. there was an attraction where kids could wait 1 hour to meet Tinkerbell. W T F. in the age of facebook, a picture of a character with an attendee of your park will get spread through the web super fast (especially if you provide wifi), which will encourage more people to come. zero characters roaming is ridiculous.

4) charging people $15 to park when they have no other options to park is classless, tacky, and just pure greedy. $5 parking on weekends, free parking on weekdays or youre a putz.

5) free strollers. the children are your future but their parents are your present. youre making huge profits on so many aspects of your business – why gauge people on using your strollers. wouldnt you rather get a family to come twice a year instead of once every two years? theyre going to spend everything they have each trip anyways. why nickel and dime them every step of their trip, just because you can?

6) continue to work with artists like Tim Burton to improve your older attractions. The Haunted Mansion is so much better thanks to the partnership with Burton. could a similar thing happen with Shepard Fairey where you let kids spray paint on walls, or let them jam with musicians with a wide variety of instruments while learn chords and techniques? Put attractions like that in California Adventure and it will finally live up to its name and it will help distance that experience from Knotts and Universal Studios.

7) stop charging $2.75 for a bottle of water. even at $1 you should be ashamed.

took the family to disneyland

welcome to disneyland

year after year i have gone home to Chicago to see my fam over the holidays.

and every year i complain to them “why are we here in the cold when its warm and sunny in LA”?

often the excuse was “the kids are too young to travel”.

but now theyre big enough and so this year they trekked out west and i was all, awesome lets do fun things

tyler spinning the tea cup

and for kids, even in this modern world, fun means Disneyland. fine.

mickey pretzels

spoiler alert: disneyland is one expensive mofo. a family of five cant even get int that park for under $500

even if two of the kids are under 9 and one of the adults is a senior citizen.

parking is $15, strollers are $15 each, and pretzels shaped as Mickey are $7.50.

real life toy story 3

because of that, many of the Toy Story toys literally jump out at you in order to get yr attention

in hopes that you take them home.

parade family

but you know what, if you save, embezzle, or work hard, you can get your kids in the park

and they will have so much fun that they will fall asleep while waiting for the parade to happen.

kyla balloon

and they will cover their ears while driving home next to the balloon.

when you ask them why, they may say “because balloons pop and i dont wanna go deaf.”

and sure enough, 20 minutes later the balloon pops and erryone gets mad.

except for uncle tony who laughs at his brilliant niece who really does know it all.