a look back at june, june 2011

june 1, Lilian asks: “What are your top 5 Bukowski books”

june 2, i disparage people who take photos with their iPads

june 4, during a Licorice Pizza reunion at the Rhino Records pop up store, a Balancing Act concert broke out – the first in 22 years

june 6, karisa and i go hiking through the lamest part of pacific palisades

june 7, no doubt does a surprise benefit for those affected in Japan, awwwww

june 9, Banksy sponsors free Mondays at MOCA

june 11, my favorite taco place puts in an (illegal) money machine

june 13, aliens invade burbank

june 14, i go to Cube, love it, and declare im a yuppie. a nation mourns.

june 15, this little kid learns how to ride his bike, and gives thumbs up to rock n roll

june 16, a manager of a Florida Starbucks asks me how i do it.

june 17, even though im overperforming at work, the writing is on the wall. i start getting diahreah

june 18, im asked the best question of the year: what would be my all time Houston Astro lineup

june 19, Sass has 99 problems, all boys

june 21, i take a short walk on a long peir

june 22, im asked is it a good idea to listen to yr gut

june 23, should evolution be taught in schools? lets pray on it.

june 25, i eat the most disgusting foul spicy fishy bowl of soup ever, and live to blog about it

june 26, i see the end is near, so i take a picture

june 27, ali and i eat the craziest fish ever at kanpai. a “super” fish

june 28, chris and i see titus androgenous and overkill river and titus won – by alot

june 29, Capt Morgan asked a great question and the world gives great answers

Christmas was boring without you

woke up next to an ugly beach.

super crowded with riff raff, as usual

caught santa taking off his beard. always knew he was a faker.

found this kid on sale, so i bought him with some money i found between my cushions.

this kid had bows on her, so i picked her up too to put under the tree. why not.

ipad ripoffs
one thing led to another and santa brought the kids gifts – if you call ipads gifts

the little girl didnt mind the bad films she was given.

football cards
the boy wasnt crazy about the cheap football cards

at first he was stoked to get a 2 year old Madden game till he saw a Packer was on the cover

packer hater
you see, anything pro-Packers is frowned upon in our casa

bill maher book
mom liked her Bill Maher despite the foul words on the cover

obey peace
the little girl liked her Shepard Fairey obey tote bag

dave's suit
dave’s clothes fit him like a glove. a very old glove meant for a lil person.

but the big gift that errryone loved were the two Jack in the Box tacos!

Merry Christmas everyone!

a look back at may 2011

may 1, went to my college reunion. was totally inspired. also was reminded how lucky i was to have gone to ccs at ucsb.

may 1, obama > osama

may 2, tsar gets back together to do an instore appearance in burbank for “Super” in which one of their best tunes was used in the opening credits beautifully.

may 3, these two have known each other ten years now. they old.

may 4, omg facebook LOLs

may 7, “hey tony what does yr bathroom look like?”

may 9, q. “yo tony, plan on writing any more books ever again?” a. hell no. how am i gonna top the others?

may 11, went on a date with a ridiculously beautiful girl who one minute told me she was strangely attracted to me and then the next minute told me to get out of her bed and out of her house immediately because i insulted her by telling her that i never really noticed how beautiful she was because i was attracted to her heart. learned that sometimes you should just tell some girls theyre hot and then shut up.

prince at the troubadour
may 12, saw Prince at the troubadour. sorta hated it. this guy didnt though.

may 12, afterwards saw Le Butcherettes who totally rocked. she also signed my poster.

may 13, odd future danced to “Friday” at the troubadour on friday the 13th

may 14, drank jameson / slept till noon / felt amazing in the morning

may 16, lakers get swept in the playoffs to dallas, went to see Thor, loved it.

may 17, hours from a two week vacation i contemplate what to do what to do what to do

may 21, i figure out where to go and what to do for vacation

may 23, searched for the spirit in several vortexes with chris

may 24, this was outside our window when we woke up. seriously.

may 26, ate at a ufo diner. no big deal.

may 27, did yoga on a triple vortex with a yogi from da bronx and had my mind blown pretty much

may 28, hiked into a secret diving hole

may 31, ended vacation on a secret mountain. also got pulled over by a copper.

who says people in LA dont decorate their homes for Christmas?

karisa found this crazy street in El Segundo where errryone goes cray at Christmas

they block off the street and everyone on both sides of the street have lights going

and cut outs on the lawn

including one house that had Tiger Woods and some crazy golf motif

in another house they had South Park kids

at another Charlie Brown and his bros

one house had a projection screen showing Elf:

it was pretty awesome.

then my mom and i got on a sleigh and flew home.

Happy Kwanzaa y’all!

seven ways Disneyland can improve

poor R2

1. put up a strong, free, reliable WiFi for guests to the park: people are paying about $100 just to enter the place, let alone major bucks for food, drink, and crap. most of them spend hours in line. let them access the internet to a) let the world know they are at your park, b) let them get their work done since their whole day is shot at your park c) let them entertain themselves while waiting for you to entertain them. this will enhance their experience and help people advertise what a great freaking time theyre having as theyre having it.

2) quit it with the gauging. $8.50 for a turkey leg? $7.50 for a pretzel? you’re Disney, you’re rolling in it. in many ways people are going to leave with advertisements for your parks movies and tv shows. let them feel good about buying tons of that. but when you gauge them they wont have any money left for that extra Mickey sweatshirt. i know youre a business. i understand capitalism. but one day this bubble will pop. stop being part of the problem, especially against the middle class.

3) get more characters out in the park. yesterday we were there from 10am-5pm. we saw ZERO characters. the only one we saw was Darth Vader, and he was on stage fighting with little kids. there was an attraction where kids could wait 1 hour to meet Tinkerbell. W T F. in the age of facebook, a picture of a character with an attendee of your park will get spread through the web super fast (especially if you provide wifi), which will encourage more people to come. zero characters roaming is ridiculous.

4) charging people $15 to park when they have no other options to park is classless, tacky, and just pure greedy. $5 parking on weekends, free parking on weekdays or youre a putz.

5) free strollers. the children are your future but their parents are your present. youre making huge profits on so many aspects of your business – why gauge people on using your strollers. wouldnt you rather get a family to come twice a year instead of once every two years? theyre going to spend everything they have each trip anyways. why nickel and dime them every step of their trip, just because you can?

6) continue to work with artists like Tim Burton to improve your older attractions. The Haunted Mansion is so much better thanks to the partnership with Burton. could a similar thing happen with Shepard Fairey where you let kids spray paint on walls, or let them jam with musicians with a wide variety of instruments while learn chords and techniques? Put attractions like that in California Adventure and it will finally live up to its name and it will help distance that experience from Knotts and Universal Studios.

7) stop charging $2.75 for a bottle of water. even at $1 you should be ashamed.

took the family to disneyland

welcome to disneyland

year after year i have gone home to Chicago to see my fam over the holidays.

and every year i complain to them “why are we here in the cold when its warm and sunny in LA”?

often the excuse was “the kids are too young to travel”.

but now theyre big enough and so this year they trekked out west and i was all, awesome lets do fun things

tyler spinning the tea cup

and for kids, even in this modern world, fun means Disneyland. fine.

mickey pretzels

spoiler alert: disneyland is one expensive mofo. a family of five cant even get int that park for under $500

even if two of the kids are under 9 and one of the adults is a senior citizen.

parking is $15, strollers are $15 each, and pretzels shaped as Mickey are $7.50.

real life toy story 3

because of that, many of the Toy Story toys literally jump out at you in order to get yr attention

in hopes that you take them home.

parade family

but you know what, if you save, embezzle, or work hard, you can get your kids in the park

and they will have so much fun that they will fall asleep while waiting for the parade to happen.

kyla balloon

and they will cover their ears while driving home next to the balloon.

when you ask them why, they may say “because balloons pop and i dont wanna go deaf.”

and sure enough, 20 minutes later the balloon pops and erryone gets mad.

except for uncle tony who laughs at his brilliant niece who really does know it all.

a look back at april, 2011

april 1, i hate april fools

april 2, “there are little moments of peace quiet and downright joy sprinkled within the crap cupcake of this month and i wonder if thats the lifesaving portion, the light at the end of the tunnel, the lifejacket of life, or is it just the little breath of fresh air before the beatings continue.”

april 4, “they tore down a dudes house today in los angeles. with him in it. he had shot a police officer. i know nothing in here is true, but i do love la.”

april 6, took my monster truck to Fred 62 while my Lotus was in the shop

april 7, ben and ali drank with me at Dillon’s. we all won.

april 9, we are moved to the 4th floor, this is my new cubicle. yippe.

april 9, i get recognized too late. i should wear identification.

april 10, ali and i have a wild night capped with dubstep at a secret (illegal) warehouse party

april 14, i see Prince’s opening night of his 21-night stand at the Forum. bro plays 40 songs in 3 1/2 hours.

april 17, i find Tupac

april 18, the LA Times wins two pulitzer prizes

april 22, im invited to go to Vegas, i reluctantly go.

april 23, have an amazingly great time in sin city

april 24, like a really really great time there

april 27, im assigned to blog solely on the Top of the Ticket blog, so i take this office, and this view

april 29, Tsar releases the Drugboy Tapes. the world rejoices.

this is how cray i am

peter christian

i saw this really impressive painting the other day.

peter criss with antlers posed like the sacred heart Jesus

with the Kool-Aid guy instead of a heart.

part of me thinks it is blasphemy

but it was so well done, i coudlnt keep my eyes off of it.

im crazy because i feel guilty for loving it so much.

it’s not just the imagery but the artistry that speaks to me.

obviously symbols and icons should be challenged, rearranged, commented on,

challenged, remixed, turned inside out, and represented in art.

but still as much as i love it, id be a little scared to get the poster.