nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, January 31, 2012

    shhhh dont tell anyone that Tomdog now blogs at KPCC 


    tomdog (aka Tom Lewis) and i go all the way back to Isla Vista back in the day.

    he played bass in one of my favorite local bands, Rogue Cheddar.

    when i was at Buzznet, he became a star of the photo sharing site, even creating a mini-meme “the tomdog bug” where you lay on the ground sideways and look at the camera as if youre dead.

    maybe you had to be there, but trust me, tons of people even dogs and kids followed tomdog’s lead.

    in 2006 i asked him if he would be interested in writing about television for LAist as i was its new editor.

    not only did he write, he also interviewed stars on the red carpet, but talked with musicians, directors, and comedians from coast to coast under the moniker, The TV Junkie.

    tomdog blogged that bad boy nearly every day on LAist for nearly 6 years.

    it is my great joy to announce that today the TV Junkie has moved to KPCC and tom kicks this things off nicely with an insightful interview with Michael Cudlitz of SouthLAnd. yes!

  2. do you believe in whatever they call it? 

    pierce cheerleader

    found myself in a community center last night.
    first time id been in a community center in quite a while.
    saw a few homeless people in there.
    there were all these loaves of bread on a table, i suspect for the poor.
    there was also a group of senior citizens reading something.
    and in a separate room there appeared to be a 12 step program going on.
    out front there was a tv on and two gentlemen watching the Clippers pre game show
    meanwhile there was another room for playing pool.
    nobody was playing pool, but one guy was in there eating bread
    next to a chalk board that said
    good players / really bad players

    in our room there were dozens of people signing up for a softball league.

    the community was really truly absolutely in that center.

    i didnt wanna leave.

    people say this and that about California, especially southern california

    but ive noticed that most places are pretty much the same:
    7-11s, mcdonalds, grocery stores
    and people just trying to make it
    trying to get it together or keep it together.
    most of them are nice.
    the others, the bible says love em too.
    why not says john the baptist.
    with his hair shirt
    eating bees
    shufflin before his crazy head gets chopped off.

    Jesus totally super loved john the baptist
    and that didnt end all that well
    unless you dont believe that thats when it really ended.

  3. Monday, January 30, 2012
  4. books. reading. less tv. more page turning 

    paint it blackhollywood legends alie and georgia had a podcast this weekend

    a drunken podcast.

    where they talked about how much they love books

    and how they always have to have at least one book that theyre devouring.

    currently alie is suffering through Henry Miller’s tropic of cancer.

    something i cannot relate to, because if i hate a book i stop reading it.

    and maybe stop reading books entirely for a little while.

    but shes plowing through it because thats what you do i guess.

    meanwhile i too have the classic Miller novel and i believe i have started it and stopped reading it almost immediately.

    this weekend i was bored outta my mind. no football will do that to a man.

    so i omg organized my bookshelf under my bedroom tv. it looks amazing.

    id have taken a picture but something told me that youd rather see karisa holding up a book.

    anyways i wanted to throw some books out aka donate them to a library. ha!

    instead i figured out a way to put MORE books in my bedroom.

    books i’ll never read.

    but now that 2012 already has one month under its belt (almost) (still, unreal)

    i feel like i should make a belated new years resolution, so here it is:

    i will start reading books in my bedroom and if i put it down without completing it,

    it goes into the give that bad boy away box.

    next step, get a box.

  5. pasties show 

    pasties show

    pretty girl handed me a something for a pasties show.
    aint never been to any pasties show before
    and never thought about one to be honest.
    crazy thing about a girl in high heels in the middle of the day
    handing you something like that is it does get you thinking.
    so i stood there for a minute and i thought about it.
    older i get the more comfortable i have gotten mulling things over for a few minutes.
    especially when its just she and i in unseasonably warm temperatures
    in downtown LA in july. me wearing too much. her wearing
    is she wearing pasties? lets look back at that ticket thing.
    dress code enforced i see and i look at her and i say your people wont let me in.
    she says they’ll let you in. i say oh no i dont have anything up to code.
    she says just dont wear, well, what youre wearing right now.
    and especially dont wear those sneakers and that hat
    or those shorts or that shirt or those sunglasses
    and pull up your socks.
    and i said so ive gotta get dressed up to see a show of pasties?
    yes and with this coupon you can get a bottle for $100.
    the excitement overwhelmed me but i didnt know how to express it.
    so i gave her back her ticket
    to play it real cool like.
    right after i took a picture
    and thought of you.

  6. Sunday, January 29, 2012

    god bless the x games for giving us mono skiers 

    imagine youre an athlete, but you have some serious issues with your legs

    perhaps you came back wounded from the war

    maybe you were born disabled

    maybe you were in an accident.

    but being an athlete is something in your heart.

    of the scariest things i could imagine doing is skiing down a hill and over jumps

    without the benefit of legs.

    enter the mono skiiers and check out this final race today.

    h/t rob lawrence


    it’s mass hysteria. cats and dogs Living together! 

    and people say nothing cool happens in Bakersfield.

    over five thousand people went to the Bakersfield Condors game last night

    and although the home team got spanked 5-1 by the Ontario Reign, the Rabobank Arena erupted when a bench clearing brawl broke out

    climaxing when the goalies squared off.

    “When the final penalty tally came in, it was a Condors combined record of 278 minutes, eclipsing the old benchmark of 254 minutes, set in Alaska exactly one year earlier,” reported the Bako Californian.

    but the announcers of the game, one who even quoted Bill Murray’s character in Ghostbusters, only added to the spectacle.

    ah, good old time hockey, eh

  8. they promised us jet packs 

    they promised us jetpacksof all the things that depress me, expectations are the diamond chocolate cherry on top

    namely, when i have zero, or few, expectations i usually find myself pleasantly surprised

    thrilled, excited, joyous, and in some cases ecstatic.

    but when i get into a situation where i fool myself into thinking i know it all

    when i enter into a room where i believe i have it figured out

    or when i buy a ticket for something that i say OMG THIS IS GONNA BE IT!

    i usually hedge my bets quietly with six seven beers cuz how is it really gonna be


    its never it.

    its it when we let it just be whatever its gonna be

    mfing ladybug appeared on my desk the other day and it was the coolest part of the day.

    i was all well hello there madame. what have i done to deserve this surprise visit?

    and i tried to put her on a leaf on my little cubicle plant but she fell into my cheetos bag

    and she walked around sniffing and licking and

    not flying away thats for damn sure.

    if only we could live that sort of life

    (we can)

  9. Saturday, January 28, 2012

    for most of my life i have had no idear what i wanted to do 

    courtside at the clippers game

    but now i do.

    i want to be steve soboroff.

    who is steve soberoff? hell if i know. but he gets to sit courtside with my girl riri

    at the hottest game of the year: the clippers lakers Battle of LA.

    and he gets to take a picture with her.

    i know steve is jacob’s daddy but that gets you courtside with the Caribbean Queen?

    imma have to investigate this in more detail for as much as i like jack

    i think id rather sit next to miss umbrella ella ella


  10. biggest hit of january 2012? 

    it might have to be 8 year old Juliette from Down Under who recorded a one-minute hit

    that took the YouTubes by storm

    and got over 17 MILLION views in 9 days.

    eat that Rebecca Black

    anyways young Juliette’s video inspired this extremely funny reply video

    this heartfelt (in a lonely dude has a room full of great equipment way) cover

    and this cheesy cover