1. Friday, January 6, 2012

    sometimes you just need to be alone 

    hard rock

    i dont always get the best advice from people.

    even people who know me.

    thats probably because im not the easiest person to get to know.

    you may think that errrything is right there on the surface,

    and sometimes it is.

    but then you will be taken aback and you’ll say omg nothing in there is true.

    vegas, like kanpai, is always an option. theyre both far away and expensive

    but you only live once.

    thats what karisa said when i asked her if i should come here to sin city

    even after my original plans of taking Clipper Girl’s cousin fell through.

    “go,” she said. “Go!”

    im glad i did. im glad i ignored the red lines on the Google Maps because they werent super red.

    im glad i ignored the bank account that said “if you go you better win.”

    im glad i ignored the housesitter who was all “i cant promise i’ll do the dishes.”

    im glad im here. im glad im alone. and im glad its 4:13am and i didnt just pass out as soon as i got here at 11:30pm.

    sometimes you have to hop in yr fast car and floor it.

    sometimes you have to let the past be the past and decide that the future

    starts now.

    im glad im alive. im glad i take risks.

    im glad im (sometimes) unpredictable.

    and im glad im so damn good lucky at roulette.

    before i left the room to hit the casino i heard the saddest fight next door.

    the woman was yelling and then sobbing and then pleading for him to, i think, not drop her.

    like cops, the xbi trains you to never get involved in a domestic case

    unless someones gonna croak. and right as i was picking up the phone to call the front desk

    i heard a knock next door, “security, can i come in?”

    and i havent heard a peep ever since.

    now i wonder what happened.