nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, February 29, 2012
  2. i think Sinead O’Connor was inspired by Justin Bieber: and thats awesome 

    who are my favorite people?

    crazy ones.

    sinead is intensely crazy which is why i adore her.

    and it helps that her new album ‘How About I Be Me (And You Be You)?’ is the best album (so far) of the year.

    but tell me that “your smile makes me smile” from her upliftingly strong “The Wolf is Getting Married”

    doesnt remind you a little tiny bit like “you smile, i smile” by Canadas favorite ultra teen Justin Bieber

    of course Sinead takes it into a better place, BUT STILL!

    anyways that clip is from the Graham Norton show where she talks about being called crazy

    which makes for GREAT TELEVISION. no really watch:

    ok you know what makes for not great television: when you stop conversations that are getting good!

    omg do i have to make everything better across the globe?

    btw i love that when sinead called him out for not having the correct cd

    someone on the panel said “you must have gotten that from the brothas”

    <3 racists

  3. obamacare where are you? 

    San Diego

    the other day i went to my doctor to get my annual physical.

    because my doctor, the best in all of pasadena, is out of network, i had to pay $100 just to walk in the door

    but thats cool because a long time ago that very same doctor was the one who told me that in order

    to stop my daily vomiting of blood

    i should stop working for people who obviously hate me.

    soon i was working for LAist and all was well with my body.

    fast forward to this year. i pay the benjamin to get in. i take my physical

    which is getting hooked up to electrodes, giving some blood, and stepping on a scale.

    fast forward to yesterday. i get a bill from “the lab”


    canada, i san diego you not. to get a physical – even if you have insurance

    it is about One Thousand Dollars for them to tell you alls cool.

    i feel sick.

  4. Tuesday, February 28, 2012

    so when you see this sign on a street you used to park on 

    so i can park right

    do you think that on a saturday you could park there?

    most people would look at the top sign and say ok its not street cleaning day

    then maybe youd see its two hour parking from monday thru friday

    but what do you mean no parking any time except something something

    no parking dummies

    if youre lucky one of the residents will feel bad for you

    and totally fully on print out a hint to you


    but it wont matter.

    no one understands those signs.

    and no one understands why on a street where there are no cars

    there should be crazy restrictions.


  5. my death wish 


    i like it when she writes me.

    i know its over. i know theres no hope.

    but my emails boring without her.

    my everythings boring without her.

    girls today, they dont write anymore. they text.

    yo busblogger they taunt.


    nothing you can write back to that.


    yo yo?

    all shes gotta do is be nice and you’ll figure out how to buy a craftsman in the hills.

    but shes not gonna be nice. and she dont want no lame ass craftsman

    she wants yr soul.

    and only for the moment

    she is my death wish.

    and i love her

    and my life is nothing now

  6. Monday, February 27, 2012

    now do you see 

    why i eat so much fast food?

    who is the young lady? that is kate upton, this year’s sports illustrated cover model

    and she knows how to Dougie:

    shes pretty good at it, but Tigger and Pooh know how to do it well too

  7. the goal of climbing the hard part of runyon 

    at the top

    is to make it to the top (pictured) without wanting to kill yourself

    or anyone else.

    pretty much everything annoys me as i make the hike up the mountain.

    dogs, bugs, people running, people who let their dogs crap on the trail

    people who pick up the dog crap but then toss the little bag on the trail

    haze, sweaty people, my earbuds, the lack of web reception.

    usually being with karisa soothes me but she had a baby shower to attend to

    so i was alone with my thoughts which werent helping so i turned on my favorite podcast

    The Minutes starring Patience from The Grates.

    she and this other young lady talk about life in a girly way with Aussie accents

    and its hard not to smile and laugh and wish that there were people like them hiking with you

    the good year blimp was doing circles below us cuz of the oscars

    the roads were closed all over cuz of the oscars

    the line at In N Out was super short cuz of the oscars

    my double double tasted super great cuz of the oscars

  8. and spaceboy they’ll kill me before i’m dead and gone 

    ufoi was asked do i ever feel like an alien.

    like do i ever get the feeling i was dropped off from a space ship a long time ago

    and thats why i think differnt, look different

    feel different

    act different

    i say we dont answer those sorts of questions from where im at

    they asked where you from

    i said the suburbs.

    its a place where we have had the internet for quite a while.

    we’re not afraid of the things you earth people are afraid of.

    likewise we are terrified of things you dont seem to have any concern about.

    art is nothing to be afraid of, for example.

    guns though. yikes.

    theres a cure song called six different ways.

    it came out in 1985.

    ‘this is stranger than i ever thought’

    i had my first apartment. i shared a room with a guy who looked like art garfunkel.

    a young art garfunkel.

    he had a drawer of tapes that he recorded from all these albums.

    it was stranger than i ever thought.

    i was dating a girl who was a year older than me.

    she wore perfume and pearls.

    she convinced me to throw out my shoebox of love letters from my high school girlfriend.

    then she broke up with me because i wouldnt have sex with her.

    from my planet you got to know the girl a little first.

    crazy idea, i know.

    after all these years i do not forget her name: jennifer.

    we made out to art’s frank sinatra tapes. and it was steamy.

    and i could see how she would want more.

    but she had more lipstick on than robert smith.

    and the perfume seemed fake and im sure the pearls were.

    planet suburbs kept it real even back then.

  9. Sunday, February 26, 2012

    snoop dogg doesnt think about britney 

    snoop and brit he doesnt say to himself, we coulda been Brangelina


    snoop doesnt dwell on what could have been

    snoop stays in the moment.

    only time snoop ever looked back was when he almost went to jail

    murder WAS the case

    but then he kept doing all the things snoop do:

    smoke weed, rap about being a pimp,

    eat roscoes chicken

    dress super fly

    and smile like the one guy who could get away with Errrything.

    me, i look at this picture all the time and i think about what could have been.

    snoop and britneys babies would have been the most important babies ever.

    those babies would have brought this country together.

    i love ice and coco but snoop & brit would have sold some damn US Weeklys.

    if obama knew better he’d a hooked that up.

    i realize he was killing osama and stuff, but the economy bro

    theyd have sold some damn records too.

    these are the things i think of

    all the time.