last week was jeanine and i’s anniversary

jeanine in isla vista

its the sweetest story ever. i had such a crush on her. then we went on three dates and there was no spark.

i probably thought she was boring and she probably thought i was a dick.


and suddenly jeanine was playing guitar for me and i was all whoa nelly!

turned out she was hiding all of her magic behind her beautiful hair.

but when she played guitar there was no hiding anything, it came out


and i said to myself: i must have her.

spring break was about to happen but the first day of spring break coincided with The California Collegiate Journalism Awards.

jeanine and i both worked at the college paper and the awards that year were up in Sacramento.

she had a relatively new car. i did not. “hey wanna drive up to Sacto with me?” she asked.

i was all OMG YES! except this was back in the day so we didnt say OMG YES!

we said why yes, m’lady.

i had plans to kiss her in Buellton home of the famous split pea soup.

oh i had so many designs.

and right when i was getting in the car, floppy haired Trevor Topp goes “hey Jeanine, got room for one more!”

ruined everything.

i steamed from the back seat all the way up there.

as was tradition, all the men from our newspaper wore dresses to the awards.

mine was exceptionally beautiful and also i was quite nervous.

so in the hotel room i grabbed her and gave her a huge kiss

that night i won an amazing award, but better yet that night i had a girlfriend

who would be in my life for centuries later.

happy anniversary jeanine rosario natale.

im a little jealous yr still in isla vista :)

no one won the lottery yesterday so its now $290 million earth clams

beastiesi have turned into an angry man.

i may seem all happy here and there but inside im bitter and pissed and uptight

theres women who cant stop loving me and i cant stop loving them right back

and yet it doesnt turn into a delicious wine, the results are a bitter harvest.

i feel as if peoples hearts are hardened to me.

which biblically, means something badass is fixin to pop

but like a pregnant lady past her due date im getting a little anxious.

patience is a virtue but rock is what we’re here to do, i believe the bard once said.

or mike d. or me.

i cant stand it, i know you planned it. imma set this straight this time to wait.

i feel like ive been waiting my whole life.

nice woman from my past reminded me when this waiting started: first grade.

in the snowy winters of illinois they made us little little kids stand in line outside

as the warm teachers inside waited for the clock to say 8am before they let us in.

like what youd do to dogs when you opened the sliding glass back door so they could piss.

the dogs would do their business and then stare at you through that window.

after a while theyd bark or jump on the glass.

basically saying wtf humanoid. im a dog and even im cold out here.

but even at first grade year old we were trained not to knock or jump or bitch

we were trained to stand in a straight line and wait till the doors were unlocked.

im 114 years old and im waiting.

but im barking.

cuz this is malarky.