1. Saturday, April 7, 2012

    ask tony, the good saturday edition 

    american apparel

    Q. Hi Tony, I was at a concert last night and I realized that I had slept with have the band. I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?

    A. nah, you’re just sleepy.

    there was a full moon yesterday. things happened and i found myself taking a nap around 6:30pm. i woke up at 8ish.

    then i received a text message saying that my evening plans had been cancelled.

    even though it was with a beautiful woman, america, you have no idea how relieved i was.

    what’s wrong with me that i would rather sit around my house in my pajamas instead of enjoying a perfectly fine spring evening on the streets of LA in the company of an interesting person where anything could happen?

    i watched the dodgers angels and lakers games, ate chinese, inhaled m&ms and tweeted.

    vibe had a link to the new nicki minaj video.

    the way its lit, and her clothes, and the makeup, and the extreme curviness of her body, well

    i had to turn it off because it was Good Friday, a day many Christians believe to be holier than Easter or Christmas, and i didn’t want any of my unholy thoughts

    to bubble.

    but i did tweet this:

    I would totally take @nickimanaj to the pizza place tonight. Show her the moon. Shake some extra cheese on her slice n stuff.

    which made me wonder: do i love nicki? or do i love the idea of having pizza with her?

    if i had a back to the future machine i would bring back a 25 year old charles bukowski

    and have him take nicki manaj to the race track

    while tolouse latrech painted it.

    and afterwards the clash would play.

    pretty sure in heaven you can ask for stuff like that.