nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, April 27, 2012

    i want to sell out arenas when im 61 

    two nights in a row.
    with my wife on stage
    and my big man in paradise.
    making all the little pretties
    raise their hands.

    but heres the problem.
    my problem.
    maybe its yours too.

    i cant even eat a bowl of ice cream right now.

    because i already said my prayers
    and brushed my teeth.

    so how am i gonna sell out any damn arenas
    any time soon

  2. Thursday, April 26, 2012

    if you ever think you’re on the wrong team 

    by etienne

    and that your career is over or this year is gonna be horrible

    or that you need to fire your agent

    or that you should probably reconsider everything.

    here is something i want to interrupt your pessimism with.

    im going to call it The Los Angeles Clippers Playoff Schedule

    Game 1 – Sun, April 29 at Memphis, 6:30 (TNT)
    Game 2 – Wed, May 2 at Memphis, 6:30 (TNT)
    Game 3 – Sat, May 5 at Staples, 1:30 (ESPN)
    Game 4 – Mon, May 7 at Staples, TBD
    Game 5 * Wed, May 9 at Memphis, TBD
    Game 6 * Fri, May 11 at Staples, TBD
    Game 7 * Sun, May 13 at Memphis TBD
    * If necessary

    now take on the day

  3. Wednesday, April 25, 2012
  4. are friends people who let you slide, or people who push you 

    boy - noise with dirt on itwhen i was giving my speech this weekend to the future journalists of america,

    i told them that one reason the Daily Nexus was able to beat all the other california colleges back in the day was because of our brand of peer pressure.

    our oddly drunken commitment to excellence was clearly more effective than professional advisors and teachers with their list of rules.

    if one of your friends told you your review of the new Janes Addiction record sucked it rang truer

    than if some gray haired grandpa told you it was horrible.

    at the Nexus we were loving but ruthless. we would make out with each other on Saturday night but on Sunday night we literally cut the crap out of our copy for Monday’s paper.

    today i had to write the truest critical email ever to someone that i care about but i dont know if it will ring true because for some reason i feel life is different today than it was back in the days of Isla Vista

    i have the feeling that today people dont push their friends to be better. i think it’s more acceptable to just let our closest amigos float down the river of mediocrity.

    of course on one level friends should be the warm cuddly pillow that we can rest our head on. friends should feel safe with each other. the world is cold and cruel and hard and harsh, friends should be the shelter.

    but if a friend doesnt say bro you’re off track. or baby youre selling out. or psssst you are so much better than this – then who will?

    and would we listen to those people who say those biting, critical things if they arent our actual peers?

    i begged the future of america to be courageous as they asked questions and spoke truth to power.

    and afterwards i realized the old truism: we teach what we most need to learn.

  5. Tuesday, April 24, 2012

    five years ago today i joined twitter 

    5 year twitter anniversary

    it probably took 2 years till i understood what could be done on twitter

    even after getting a pretty good tutorial at sxsw in 2007

    from the twitter founders while stumbling through austin

    but no one ever said i was a quick learner.

    either way congrats twitter for still being there 5 years later.

    im glad i didnt break you.

  6. jack whites solo record is out today 

    solo sometimes its ok to go solo.

    im sure its scary for some.

    i went solo for a while. everything was ok.

    i wasnt lookin for a wookie, but one showed up, then another.

    at first i was all, hi but this is really a one man show


    and i was like ok, how about you do some of the stuff i dont really wanna do

    and the wookie was all mmmkay

    after work when we were driving home i would get tired and i was all hey wanna drive?

    and the wookie was all hell yeah bro

    then one day the wookie wasnt around any more and i realized id grown used to him

    and i missed him.

    and then i realized we are always solo

    even when you think you have a connection to someone its still two artists

    two rockers

    two jedi knights

    from different parts of the worlds

    who respond differently day to day to different things

    and by nature Should want to be different.

    and why we will not only all die in the end,

    but die alone.

  7. Monday, April 23, 2012

    people do weird things. nobody knows why. 

    this lady jumped on a van that was moving today.
    her boyfriend was driving it.
    he had just robbed a bank, allegedly and was being chased by the cops.
    she was on the sidewalk on the phone, probably with him,
    when he made his way to her.
    he slowed down and she jumped on the van
    and he picked up speed.
    she held on tight. hugging the side of it.
    when she realized her man was cray, she climbed up the side to the roof
    and then slid in the window.

    sometimes i feel like im the driver guy running from the law
    in a mini van

    sometimes i feel like im the lady hugging a moving vehicle.

    you know what the xbi would say about all this?

    feelings are stupid.

    hold on

    and floor it.