and im all bros, my rad bff chris already flows me lakers seats. dontcha read the busblawwwg?

theyre like, um how about 2nd row right behind the basket.

so close you can jibber jabber with jimmy goldstein

and i was all go ooooonnnnnnnn…

and they were all ok and how would you like some passes for you and your bro to drink

in the uber exclusive Chairman’s Room at halftime (the gold ducats) and after the game (white)?

so merely out of curiosity i said yes and whattya know americas dbag ashton kutcher took a pic

of me, chris, and chris’s long lost buddy

but if the agency really knew me (and youd think they would by now) they woulda gotten me

a Free The Peace (ron artest) tshirt. but no.

i guess they missed that part of merchant of venice

where its revealed that all that glitters isnt gold.