awesomenessi have secrets.

never thought i would, but yep.

person who knows most of my secrets: truest.

maybe thats why shes so obsessed about

the secret blog(s),

but she shouldnt be.

its not as entertaining or revealing as she would hope for, probably.

one is total inside baseball – mostly, about the xbi,

aviation, and fantasy hoops.

ive got another secret one thats just all negative crap.

any time i find myself thinking cruddy crud for more than 15 minutes straight

i just write it in there.

another one are letters to people who i shouldnt be writing letters to.

it’s good to get the poison out, raven.

one blog is filled with moneymaking schemes.

latest entry?

Poutine Machine.

not so secret secret: most of my secrets are canadian-based.

LA and the art of motorcycle maintenance

made in LALA is my lady because for sure we arent underdogs at anything

not even hockey now.

we have tons of people who live here, many all stars from other places.

they come here to seriously do their best to make their dreams come true

and even if they fail, they fail spectacularly.

meanwhile the natives have seen it all and often have this enviable calmness and confidence like boulders by the beach who have experienced the tide come in and out day after day.

stanley cup, nba championship, oscars, 10 million dollar house, actress model mistress, fancy car, stupid fresh shoes,

it dont matter just dont bite it.

but still we try. we try as hard in LA as anywhere.

and we cheat. and steal. and rob. and connive.

we’ll make stars out of anyone and package it and market it and sell it to the world

and the world laps it right up.

ask that gangbanging rhymeslinging pimp Snoop Dogg, beloved from near and far.

who else could export a man who shows up at an awards ceremony with two scantily dressed women on dog chains? who could be accused for a capital crime and quickly release a record called “murder was the case” while blatantly smoking illegal narcotics and flashing gang signs?

only LA could.

LA is the bad boy and the idyllic backdrop: the sand the surf the slopes and the stars.

we have so many great food options that some of the best come out of trucks at the side of the road.

we speak so many dialects but the only language is that of love and success.

we celebrate today a new notch on our bedpost, staples will soon raise another banner on its crowded roof and tomorrow someone will quote miss jackson

what have you done for me lately.

the unofficial motto of the golden state.

and they’ll mean it.

theres a lot of cake at our office


nothing you can do about it.
every now and then you find yourself buying some
now youre part of the problem.
only way you can fix this issue
is eat yourself through it.

had some delicious cake today.
it gave me a little buzz.
like maybe someone slipped some red dye no. 5
in there or something.

i was eating some whole foods sushi for lunch
and mixed with the rich frosting
it wasnt the best combo.
so i settled my stomach with some
emergency marshmallows from my cupboard.

theyre all gone now.
we better stay safe.