i was all, omg hi!

he was like tony i need you to blog more.

i was all but but

he went no, no buts, more blogging, and be better. do weirder things. report if you have to. funk it up. change things around. be more prolific. more creative. how come you havent talked to any inanimate objects lately? where are your original videos? why havent you interviewed anyone amazing. you know amazing people! why must you be selfish about the things that happen in and around your person. you are here to document and share what you get to do. why must you keep it all to yourself!?!?!

i was all uh

then the bald eagle squawked disapprovingly.

then barack obama said, i hope you can change.

and they flew off into the distance

leaving behind a rainbow trail of health insurance

and dead talibans.

and even though it was summer the leaves changed colours

and some fell onto my lush lawn.

after a while a little kid offered to pick up the leaves for a small fee.

and i could hear the eagle cry

job!