congratulations Theo Epstiens

Theo Epstein is the 38 year old President of the Chicago Cubs. he never played baseball in high school nor did he play when he attended Yale.

At 29 years old he became the General Manager of the Boston Red Sox and later that year the team broke the “Curse of the Bambino” and won the world series for the first time since 1918.

because Boston is cray, three years later he put on a gorilla suit and drove out of town, resigning from his post. the Sox got him back and paid him $1.5 million, but a few years later he resigned again.

almost exactly one year ago the Chicago Cubs gave him a 5 year contract for $11.5 million because we have our own curse. A worst curse involving a goat. how do i know it is worse? in this, the first full year under Theo, the Cubs lost 100 games. (the idea is to *win* 100 games)

regardless, at the beginning of this year i joined 7 fantasy baseball leagues. that seems like a lot but usually i have about 12 teams. but recently i have not been winning, so i pared it down so i could focus better on my moves.

that technique worked because the team i named after the Cubs’ ONLY HOPE lead the league from beginning to end even though my #1 draft pick (a Red Sox dude) got hurt and only played 74 games and only hit .271, even though my #2 pick Roy Halladay had his worst season in quite a while and only won 11 games, and even though my #3 pick A CATCHER(?!?!) only hit .252.

so many people quit after the first few months because they feel like they didnt draft well. but the reason the Theo Epstiens (spelled incorrectly) won was because of my lesser picks including #4. Craig Kimbrel (Atl – RP), # 7. James Shields (TB – SP), #8. Joe Mauer (Min – C,1B), # 10. Ichiro (NYY – LF,CF,RF), #14. Emilio Bonifacio (Mia – 2B,3B,SS,LF,CF,RF), # 17 Josh Willingham (Min – LF), and the best sleeper pick in the 22nd round Alfonso Soriano (ChC – LF).

I made no trades, but i did make many moves (49 adds and drops), the best being Kyle Lohse in April who ended up winning 16 games for some team in St Louis.

The final series of the year went down to the very last day (yesterday). My opponent the craters picked up 4 pitchers on the last day (bad form) and I countered with picking up 2 extra arms which is risky because not many teams really care in real life about the last game of the season.

the extra arms helped but Craig Kimbrel striking out the side in his only inning allowed me to have as many strikeouts as my opponents which nullified that category since we tied.

fucker shoulda got 6 pitchers.

i won. im thrilled. im the biggest dork of all. but who cares.

i will def have 12 teams again next year.

cubs all the way