parties at heathers house are never any fun

shes a very shy host who usually just sits in her room staring at the wall

the pool and hot tub were cranked though

and the president was there

and someone brought the beers so that was nice

of me

heather hugging jeff

the lion of judah was in the house celebrating the new ep

children were rough housing

dogs who had gotten into the cider became amorous

video guy hot tub

video guy was all, hey if you have underwear, you have a swimsuit

heathers samsung

meanwhile heather was showing us how much better the samsung galaxy was than the iphone

i was all, you drunk, lady

and she was like ahahahahahahahaha

because the samsung did indeed appear to be better

for me to poop on

E.T. turns 30 years old – a movie that took the world by storm

i remember going on a date to go to the movie

and we were driven by my date’s mom

who also saw the movie with us

and we all cried

and cheered

and loved it

and saw it again the next week, minus the chaperone.

no one ever talks about henry thomas, the kid who played el-i-ot

erryone talks about Drew, who was pretty great too.

but this is his audition tape which you need to watch all the way through