164 years ago a little black kid was born in the nations capital

tony pierce, age 2there was great debate about what to name him.




tony bennett was playing on the radio and the nurse said


and for years i was called benny until the benny hill show took the nation by storm

and my mom was embarrassed seeing people walk fast motion all around me

so she allowed me to go by my middle name and the days of BP were done

enter your new pal TP, everyone

initials impervious to childish chides.

so we moved.

for the last 28 years ive been in california

28 mostly awesome years.

im very lucky, mostly for knowing you.

but 28 years?

time flies when youre eating tacos.

so today is one day i can totally be indulgent.

i already started by eating kfc, drinking orange soda,

and breaking into the m&ms my mom sent me.

so after the jump heres the Proust Quiz

1. What talent do you wish you had?

i really admire people who can learn foreign languages. i love talking to people, and its sad that there are all these people i’ll never get to chit chat with because of the language barrier. it would also be totally awesome to know what people are saying when they switch into different languages to talk about you with their buddy in front of you.

2.  Who’s your favorite Muppet, and why?

i like the two old guys in the balcony who talk trash every night. those guys party, i bet.

3.  What kind of restaurant would you open, and why?

one of the best things about the United States is soul food. it’s also one of our natural resources that have yet to be exploited. id like to export it. spread our love. turn on the world.

4.  What’s the first movie that you remember giving you nightmares?

Wizard of Oz scared me. the monkeys, the witch, the whole story was trippy for a little kid.

5.  What sporting event have you never been to, that you dream of attending?

thanks to my buddy chris ive been to the NBA Finals. but the World Series and the Super Bowl are def on the list. but i really only wanna go if da Bears or the Cubs are involved.

6.  What class did you take in high school or college that you wish you could take again now?

Spanish. i cant habla worth squat.

7.  Country Living or Architectural Digest?

those both sound terrible. i subscribe to maybe 15 mags. for a year, as a gift, my former land lady gave me architectural digest. did nothing for me. by law you should have comics or a fold out in magazines if you dont have any jokes in there.

8.  What book do you hope your kids never read?

the court doesnt allow me to talk about my kids.

9.  Ringo Starr.  Good drummer or not?

with all the rock bands that have come and gone there are only a few drummers that really mattered:

stewart copeland, neil peart, john bonham, john densmore, dave grohl, jimmy chamberlain, lars.

ringo mattered because of the band he was in, not the beats he made.  thats ok.

10.  Theme parks – thumbs up or thumbs down?

the click of the rollercoaster climbing that first hill is pretty great

11. What film do you most often quote dialogue from in conversation?

Blues Brothers mostly. “we’ll talk to Bahb” “we play both kinds of movies here.” “i hate Illinois Nazis.”

12. White after Labor Day, blogging about politics. I do both. What’s a rule you think is made to be broken?

its ironic that i wrote a set of blogging rules, but i say as soon as you discover a rule – break it.

13. When you win the lottery (when not if – positive thinking): one time payout or the yearly installments?

i dont trust myself with all that cash. so yearly installments sounds good.

14. What is your favorite TV show theme song?

Brady Bunch because it told the whole story so quickly so perfectly. shows dont do that any more. its sad.

15. Taking a page from James Lipton, what’s your favorite curse word?


16. When reading the newspaper, what section do you pick up first?

i read it from front to back every morning. im old school

17. If Zoltar could take you back to being a kid for a day, what day would you pick?

i was the dj for our 8th grade dance. i shoulda played more metal.

18. Do you read your horoscopes?

no. there was a time when i was into Rob Brezney and this dude who wrote in TV Guide’s back page. they were good, but i dont believe in astrology any more.

19. Downton Abbey – really well written or just a fabulous soap opera?

i still have to catch up on Breaking Bad, Honey Boo Boo and a million other shows before i get to DA.

20. Do you ever want to get married?

i wanna be happy. i see the possibility for happiness in marriage. but ive gotta be into it and shes gotta be into it, forever. thats a mighty long time for human creatures who, hopefully, are constantly evolving and changing. i could have gotten married a long time ago to someone great. im sure that would have been fine. but im also very grateful for the other precious  relationships ive had since then. everythings a tradeoff. thats fine.