1. Saturday, October 6, 2012

    xbi was all why were you over there 

    LA i was all where

    they were like there

    i was dude

    they were all answer the question

    i was like make me

    which is a silly thing to say to someone who has control of the chip in yr head.

    but i get silly when people who arent even supposed to be talking to me

    are totally trying to boss me around

    suddenly i had an overwhelming desire for chocolate

    why were you over there they asked again

    there was a knock on my door.

    i dont even know what place yr talking about

    yes you do

    another knock at the door, candyman, a voice said.

    please hold, i said and put the xbi on hold.

    and suddenly the desire for chocolate overwhelmed me

    this must be a new thing theyve got going, i thought

    but stayed put in the bedroom

    candy {knock} MAN! {knock knock knock}

    a now-angry voice demanded at the front door.

    theres never enough training.

    no one ever gets to practice enough.

    which is why a front yard sprinkler system

    that can be rigged to spray the front door

    and an electrified welcome mat

    that can be turned on from the bed

    have a way of evening things up at times.