my mom doesnt have facebook so i will copy this fable making the rounds


A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll

ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

*in some versions, the Beer was replaced with Coffee.

whenever beebs is in town i borrow his Fisker


and since it was ali’s birthday i was all, yo lemme taker to dinner in it. he was all, sure

so we had a few hot dishes, a few cold ones, she told me about what fun she had at work

we talked about how much different her thanksgiving is gonna be compared to mine.

i learned she doesnt like really big bedrooms

which is weird because ive never understood houses that have a lot of really small ones,

then peter turned the lights down, but only to tell everyone the credit card machine was broken

ali bday

later he turned them down again to tell everyone it was ali’s birthday

and he brought out this ice cream that was sooooo good

it was like a peach sherbet with a hard shell and because he reads the busblog

he put a nice hostess ding dong on the plate but waved his magic Kanpai wand on it

and it was ten times more delicious somehow.

then we sped the fisker through the venice streets

never once thinking about the bears terrible performance.