mitt romney went to disneyland yesterday

mitt romney at disneyland

if i was as rich as Jay-Z, and i just lost the presidential election
i would not go to the happiest place on earth,
tempted as i may be.

i would go to deepest darkest africa
and stay there
and make a serious difference there.
then id go to deepest darkest
the land my father was born in.
and stay there
and make a serious difference there.

then id come back and run again
and become president of the united states
most powerful man in the world.

but i guess splash mountain is a fine alternative.

the grateful old man

keep the han in hanukkah

when i was ten star wars came out.

grateful for that.

when i was fourteen back in black came out.

grateful for that too.

something tells me that when heart attacks start hitting my age group,

someone will figure out how to prevent them with ice cream.

eat your ice cream today, gramps? the kids will yell at me

as they zip past in their jet packs.

i dont know why i worry about things.

better things just always show up.

just ask the ipad youre reading this on.

which im also grateful for.

the only problem with holidays

wolfis i have to deal with questions from relatives about my marital status.

usually i lie and say i have many wives and we all laugh.

occasionally someone will say maybe the boy is gay.

and i’ll say if i was gay wouldnt i dress better?

truth of the matter is its not very responsible to flirt with the xbi and have a significant other

my shrink says i sabotage relationships psychologically so that no ones hurt if something tragic happens if im flying chopper one and it goes down.

which is why i stopped seeing her after one consultation.

the thing is people are complicated beasts.

the other thing is i hate fighting and it seems to me that you have to endure an awful lot of battles to keep a sexual relationship going.

im willing to have 1 maybe 2 fights a month. tops. for 5 minutes each.

if we’re spending more time stewing than kissing, im out. i dont care who you are. or who your best friend is.

life is tough enough in the real world. when i come home i dont wanna do anything but slip into something comfortable, crank some some sweet jams, and lick wounds.

the problem is it seems like theres only a handful of people who get that. that fun is job one of love.

theres always an agenda. theres usually more on the menu.

also, i may be a wolf

in wrinkled sheeps clothing.