let the hollow points commence to pop pop pop

next month is the 20th anniversary of The Chronic.

even though i felt i had been there forever, 20 years ago i was still new to the xbi

so they sent me to new orleans for some, uh, training.

jeanine and i were super in love so i brought her, against their wishes

but whatevs, everything worked out. and today jeanine reminisced on facebook

I’m finally getting caught up on my LA Weekly reading, re: “The Making of the Chronic” article. Somewhere there exists a VHS tape of me n’ Tony on a Spring Break vay-cay, in the one and only town of Gretna, LA, on our way to the French Quarter, listening to Dr. Dre’s just-released album. During the course of eight days,we had Popeye’s Chicken, tried Hurricanes and muffalettas for the first time, went to that restaurant where they filmed the Folger’s Coffee commercial, ate beignets at Cafe Du Monde, and in the midst of many downright tropical rainstorms, found a killer guitar shop that had a super awesome Herb Ellis ES-165 Gibson, vintage sunburst (I think) that I actually got to play for a while, a la Joe Pass style. Throughout, we agreed that The Chronic was a totally freakin’ awesome album.

today she told me the nicest thing:

we’ve known each other longer than we havent known each other

humble brag: a few years ago Geoff Boucher took me to meet Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine. apparently they had decided that they were going to get into the headphones business. beats by dre or something crazy. they wanted geoff to listen to them. so he brought me.

i got to meet everyone, i listened to the headphones. i handed them over to geoff

and then i took this picture:

proof that real life is often stonier than the green stuff.

sometimes moreso in retrospect.

if i was president id put Jimi Hendrix on the $11 bill

which is one reason theyd never let me be president.

the Hendrix $11 bill would be something people would save.

or theyd give it as a gift to people, especially kids.

retailers would be all, “12 Pack Bottles for a Hendrix”.

or better yet.

“All CDs, 1 Hendrix Each.”

i mean seriously:

jimi hendrix would have turned 70 today.

a true american original

and virtuoso.

we have had exactly

zero

hendrix’s since he died.

and thats why he should be on the eleven dollar bill.

sometimes the world isnt fair

free shrugsis it ever fair?

if america wasnt so far from everything else, would we have even had america?

and what about south and central america?

is it fair that they know we’re not talking about them when we say America?

is it fair you’re so good looking?

is it fair that its cheaper to make clothes half way around the world

and then put it on a boat and sell it in “america”

than it is to make it right down the street from the store?

is it fair that the Cubs haven’t won a world series since the year Henry Ford made the first Model T?

is it fair that we are spending billions fighting a war on weeds that even the smartest of us know we’ll never win?

is it fair that we lie to our children about santa claus and the easter bunny right when they could really be appreciating spirituality in its purest sense?

is it fair that i can walk around town with no shirt on exposing my disgusting belly and hairy chest, but a beautiful woman would be arrested for doing the same?

is it fair that they lie on soup cans and say there are two servings when no one except the very poor make two bowls of soup from one can?

is it fair that seeing a movie at the theatre sometimes cost more than buying the dvd 6 months later?

is it fair that you kiss that well, but now you dont even wanna kiss any more?

is it fair that sometimes the people who lie the most, win the most?

is it fair that i have more hair on my face than on my head?

is it fair that before we know it we’re dead?

is it fair that we go to heaven

after all that complaining?