nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, November 27, 2012
  2. if i was president id put Jimi Hendrix on the $11 bill 

    which is one reason theyd never let me be president.

    the Hendrix $11 bill would be something people would save.

    or theyd give it as a gift to people, especially kids.

    retailers would be all, “12 Pack Bottles for a Hendrix”.

    or better yet.

    “All CDs, 1 Hendrix Each.”

    i mean seriously:

    jimi hendrix would have turned 70 today.

    a true american original

    and virtuoso.

    we have had exactly


    hendrix’s since he died.

    and thats why he should be on the eleven dollar bill.

  3. sometimes the world isnt fair 

    free shrugsis it ever fair?

    if america wasnt so far from everything else, would we have even had america?

    and what about south and central america?

    is it fair that they know we’re not talking about them when we say America?

    is it fair you’re so good looking?

    is it fair that its cheaper to make clothes half way around the world

    and then put it on a boat and sell it in “america”

    than it is to make it right down the street from the store?

    is it fair that the Cubs haven’t won a world series since the year Henry Ford made the first Model T?

    is it fair that we are spending billions fighting a war on weeds that even the smartest of us know we’ll never win?

    is it fair that we lie to our children about santa claus and the easter bunny right when they could really be appreciating spirituality in its purest sense?

    is it fair that i can walk around town with no shirt on exposing my disgusting belly and hairy chest, but a beautiful woman would be arrested for doing the same?

    is it fair that they lie on soup cans and say there are two servings when no one except the very poor make two bowls of soup from one can?

    is it fair that seeing a movie at the theatre sometimes cost more than buying the dvd 6 months later?

    is it fair that you kiss that well, but now you dont even wanna kiss any more?

    is it fair that sometimes the people who lie the most, win the most?

    is it fair that i have more hair on my face than on my head?

    is it fair that before we know it we’re dead?

    is it fair that we go to heaven

    after all that complaining?

  4. Monday, November 26, 2012

    all i have to do is post three times a day for the rest of the year 

    and this will be the most prolific year

    of the world famous busblog.

    i dont know how this happened.

    a famous man once said:

    good life, bad blog;

    bad life, great blog.

    was this year really that bad?

    the worst in 11 years of busblogging?

    rung in the new year spooning with a cute girl.

    all year i only puked out of the side of a cab

    while wearing makeup once.

    got to go to wrigley field for the first time in years. and it was heavenly.

    saw: dylan, van halen, dinosaur, guns, the hives, sea wolf, nerf herder and tsar.

    perhaps the advent of easy to use mobile posting via wordpress helped.

    or maybe theres an inordinate amount of inspiration flowing in this town.

    ninjas be laying it out.

    look out.

  5. in football you are given four downs to gain 10 yards 

    sometimes things happen and you have to go

    29 yards in just one down

    or else you lose the football game.

    so you try.

    you should always try.

    the wife i dont have is lucky that she didnt deliver a son to me today

    for if she had i’d name him Fourth And29 Pierce

    in a perfect world, Fourth And29 would be trending right now

    but alas.

  6. danielle can find no cute guys to love her 

    she writes in her post “gluttony”:

    I would rather leave my number on a piece of paper for a guy that is not going to call
    then to never leave the note at all.

    I would rather put my heart and my soul out there
    and take a chance for no reason at all then to take a chance
    then to never live at all.

    I would rather fly across the country to feel love for a weekend
    then to sit on my couch in my apartment every weekend watching dark Scandinavian movies
    which I love by the way.

    ive never cared for san dieger

  7. andrew w.k. rocks too hard for the u.s. to send him to bahrain 

    American rock star Andrew W.K. was invited by the U.S. Embassy in Manama to deliver his message of party rocking, friendship, key changes, multiple bridges, walls of sound, and one note staccato piano lines.

    Just a few days ago he posted on his site how happy he was for the invite, comparing himself to Blue Note legends.

    “In the tradition of the American Jazz Ambassadors who traveled the world in the mid 20th century as examples of American culture and spirit, Andrew has been invited by the State Department to travel to the Middle Eastern country of Bahrain and share his music and partying with the people there. Andrew will begin his journey sometime in December, 2012 and will visit elementary schools, the University of Bahrain, music venues, and more, all while promoting partying and world peace,” he wrote on AndrewWK.com.

    “I feel very privileged and humbled by the chance to represent the United States of America and show the good people of Bahrain the power of positive partying. I can hardly wait for this adventure!” the self-proclaimed King of Partying beamed.

    But alas, not everyone gets what he’s all about. DCist has the sad news from a State Department spokesperson who says he’s not gonna be representing our fine nation.

    W.K. was also never designated a “cultural ambassador,” the spokesperson says, though embassies around the world routinely invite artistic and cultural figures to make appearances. But such events are subject to oversight, and W.K.’s offer of showing the Persian Gulf island nation the “power of positive partying,” did not pass muster.

    Nobama has failed us yet again, it appears.

  8. todays my sisters birthday, shes 24 

    on the scoreboard shes beating me. huge house. long marriage. two beautiful and amazing kids. probably the best dog alive.

    she gets to see my mom several times a week.

    theres always old style beer in the fridge.

    her pool is set to a consistant 98.6 degrees.

    and shes got me as her brother.

    i knew things were going to be good for her when she started learning spanish at an early age.

    it was all greek to me. but for her, no probelmo.

    so it didnt surprise me, when i told her that her son would be better off

    if someone taught him how to be a switch hitting left handed shortstop

    that he turned out to be exactly that.

    and the daughter shes raising will probably be the youngest secretary of state

    this nation has ever had.

    there are no switch hitting left handed shortstops

    or soon-to-be secretary of states in my sprawling compound.

    thus, my sister wins.


    happy birthday!

  9. Sunday, November 25, 2012

    the bears’ natural rival are the green bay packers 

    but because rarely are the bears good when the packers are good
    and vice versa
    and because are super sweet midwesterners
    like katie, pictured
    unlike those in st. louis
    not pictured
    it is very difficult to watch a game like the one on now
    between the pack and the new york football giants
    and seriously root for new york.
    but its not impossible.
    happy belated birthday kb.

  10. dude awarded $25k the last time Hawthorne PD arrested him for taking pics, jailed again 

    earlier this month Daniel J. Saulmon was detained for 4 days for shooting this video in Hawthorne, CA.

    in 2005 mr. saulmon won $25,000 when in a settlement when he was arrested on a similar charge.

    it is not illegal to photograph police (or anything) happening on public streets. and unless an officer has reasonable cause to suspect you are doing something illegal, you are not required to produce identification in California.

    will photographing police while they’re working upset them? sure. would you be annoyed if someone was photographing you while you were working? probably. but if your job is about knowing the laws and enforcing them, you are often held to a different standard in relation to laws.

    also, im sure mr. saulmon, and his bicycle, and his camera, are probably the last things police want around when theyre working.

    with that said he spent 4 days in jail for this and something tells me he will either get another $25k, or more for this incident.

    it also reminds me of this one:

    which makes think that police and sheriffs deputies need to rethink how they are going to deal with this modern era where people have cameras and recording devices everywhere

    and often, they are the new subjects of the reality show that will instantly be published online.