nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, November 24, 2012
  2. saw the life of pi in 3d 


    it was pretty good. I wanna say great but I can’t.

    when you spend that much care and detail

    and it’s so beautiful

    and spiritual

    and believable:

    give it a worthy ending.

    maybe that should be my job here in Hollywood

    The Ender

    if I’m unsatisfied with the end then I don’t put my seal on it

    but if its good at the end, then I do

    the audience clapped at the end at the dome, so maybe I’m being picky

  3. Friday, November 23, 2012

    my problem is most of my best ideas are super inappropriate 

    justin bieber meets stephen harper

    and yet almost every day i see people making decisions where i say to myself

    if i had done that the entire world would have exploded.

    but rarely does the world explode.

    for example if i owned a baseball team like the miami salamaders or whatever theyre called

    and i suckered the city to buy me a new ball park

    and then i treaded all of my best players (except 1) to the toronto blue jays

    i would have expected to have my owners card revoked (or at least the trade to get vetoed).

    likewise if i was the beebs and i was fixin to meet the head honcho of canadrrr to get a medal

    and i was going through my closet of spaceman outfits and assorted dbaggery

    the overalls would not have been my first choice.

    maybe its laundry day at the casa bbr.

    so this weekend i need to figure out how to make this great idea

    a tad less evil.

  4. Thursday, November 22, 2012

    ate some deep fried turkey yep 

    turkey deep fryer

    karisas bf and his buddies set up the death trap but because theyre scientists no one got hurt

    me, i protected the alcohol from an alien invasion

    even though we were hella late, so was erryone else so i prepared for my dish

    open other end

    not everyone can make the perfect plate of cb sauce but, with the help of jeanine, voila!

    people literally went crazy when they ate it.

    example a

    because no one trusts scientists, they cooked a regular turkey and of course there was the deep fried buddy

    there was also plenty of water. actually there was plenty of everything.

    people ate and were amazed. so amazed they didnt even eat at the table because it glowed of awesome too much.

    shack and dog

    then people started playing with the dog

    then mary started dancing on karisas brand new table

    then jeanine and karisa started talking in russian. and they couldnt stop after a while.

    then hot toddys were fixed up real nice along with dessert. which was delightful.

    then people started passing out. which is always funny.

    merry christmas y’all!

  5. the condensed story of griffith j griffith 

    griffith park observatory

    griffith j griffith wasnt born in america. oh no. he was born in wales, a place where no one knows where it is.

    he came to america when he was 15 and lived in pennsylvania because why not. he studied writing and mining in college. he moved to frisco when he was 23 and because everyone died young he was made manager of the herald publishing company before he turned 24. but griffith wanted to be a reporter so he started working for a newspaper called the Alta Cali where he covered no cal mining.

    he learned a ton more about mining while writing about it and joined a little silver syndicate in mexico. two years later he was a millionaire. which in 1882 was like owning Instagram.

    so duh, he moved to LA cuz even then thats where the party be. after close to 9 years of being a rich bachelor he got hitched. the lucky gal was named mary agnes christina. he was 37.

    a few years later he bought 4,000 acres in what would later become Los Feliz. when he was 46 he and his wife said, LA, we love you, heres 3,000 acres of Los Feliz for you: it included rolling hills, fantastic views, and amazing caves that would be the backdrop to many films including the batman tv show.

    it was the largest US city park, 5 times bigger than NY’s Central Park, and it would someday be home to the Hollywood sign.

    “just be cool with the land and make sure all the peeps chill,” he sorta said.

    one day mary agnes christina was kneeling before bro in the presidential suite of the arcadia hotel in santa monica. he shot her in the head, accidentally, because he was a secret drunk. the bullet blinded her in one eye and disfigured her.

    he was sentenced to two years in the Q back in frisco. while in the hole mary agnes christina divorced him. in 4 minutes and 30 seconds the judge granted her custody of their teen son and he insisted that griffith be ordered to pay his boy’s college tuition at stanford.

    when he got out of jail he told everyone who would listen how terrible life was in prison. he demanded changes.

    a few years later he tried to give LA the Greek Theatre and a bad ass observatory. they said thanks but no thanks psycho killer quesque c’est. we cant believe we only gave you two years in jail for nearly killing your sweet wife. are we not men?

    he was all but but

    LA was all speak to the glovèd hand

    but when he died he left LA the greek and the observatory in his last will and testament surrounded with hearts and


    and LA was all whatevs fine.

    crazy thing: this is the most anyone in LA

    has talked about griffith griffith in about 27 years.

    the end.