1. Friday, November 16, 2012

    roseanne would never have let this happen. #ImpeachObama 

    adios last ding dong

    i may have eaten my last ding dong.

    how messed up is that?

    not because im getting more healthy (god forbid),

    not because i lost a terrible bet.

    but because for some reason Hostess is going out of business in part because of a strike.

    im sorry but i have a hard time believing that if Rosanne had become president, we’d still have Hostess.

    theres a reason i didnt vote for Obama. this isn’t it, but it reinforces my lack of support.

    i know his beautiful wife is all about eating right and working out, but when i was in school

    (aka the age when health didnt matter)

    Twinkies and Suzy-Qs and Ho Hos were in every kid’s lunch box.

    its all part of our American Experience.

    to let that just fall by the wayside over petty things like money and power,

    i’d think requires intervention from the executive branch.

    but no, Barry just flies around eating wraps from Whole Foods being skinny and out of touch.

    Hostess is the American Dream.

    it’s what separates us from not just apes, but from all nature.

    it sucks that the next poop i take will be the last remnants of the last Ding Dong of my life.

    i may start crying right here in my cubicle.

    OBAMA!