top ten things i thought when i read this

1. are they warning or advertising?
2. but i thought Thousand Oaks was filled with conservatives?
3. is he still on the loose because he’s hard to find?
4. are there that many crossdressers in TO they have no likely subjects?
5. i wonder if i’ve been to that mall.
6. was the skirt tasteful at least?
7. i wont click the link i wont click the link
8. if i retweet favorite this because of its absurdity will someone think i endorsed it?
9. i bet he isnt black.
10. i thought this only happened in 70s movies.

Mike Cherico asks “How would you celebrate if the Cubs won the World Series?”

in montreal

i dont even think about beautiful things like that. probably cry for a week.

Where do you go for inspiration?

im constantly inspired. usually by others. usually by conversations. usually by weird conversations.

but the best way for me to be inspired is for me to get out of my comfort zone, which is the computer

which is why i hike. which is why i date super models. which is why i fight crime.

when my heart is beating my brain gets the good juice. the weird juice. the juicy juice.

movies help. reading helps. kissing helps. anything other than writing.

pinball machines. long drives. standoffs. stakeouts. church.

What do you want for Christmas?

for my mom to always be happy.

What motivates you?

making dreams come true. evening out the imbalances. accomplishing the impossible.

and of course making my momma smile and the pretty girls say ho

Why do you do the things that you do?

stacks of money, lines of credit, hotels on boardwalk

When will it get easier?

nothing is easier than pooping in pampers and reaching out for a boobie.

older we get the harder it gets which is fine

and more proof that we should study video games

what would you do if you found $175,000 of weed in your hot tub

cop does inventory of weedmack reed found weed and freaked out.

he was preparing to get some solar panels installed in his home in Silver Lake

and as the inspector was walking around with him to see all the things that suck electricity

they went to his drained hot tub and opened the lid and there was a duffle bag

filled with high grade, perfectly bagged, perfectly labeled pot and weed.

mack is about to launch a new company, he has a home, he has kids, and he had that solar panel guy right there so he didnt have time to figure out how to sell the stash

plus he was super worried that he would be confronted with the dude who the weed actually belonged to

so he called the cops, who took their sweet time in getting to him, and they took it away.

but before all was said and done, mack took a picture of the nice officer

printed out the photo and wrapped it in plastic

and made a sign that said sorry bro, cops took the weed and are keeping an eye on this house

is that what you would do considering the circumstances?

seems pretty smart to me.

ah, first world problems.