if theres one thing i like its a well fought Miss Universe pageant

this years Miss Universe was disappointing because the top five winners were ranked almost

exactly backwards to what they should have been.

my favorite from the very beginning was Miss Venezuela who’s strikingly beautiful

legs for days

and the most graceful, carefree, strut.

but for some reason she decided to answer the question in English

a language she clearly has no grasp of whatsoever.

what ended up being her answer will be ridiculed right along with Miss Teen South Carolina 2006

which is sad because both ladies should have won their deal.

ironically this year the question that was asked right after Miss Venezuela’s

was to Miss Philippines, who was asked “should Miss Universe speak English”?

she answered it perfectly (“its not the language its the message”) which should have helped her win

but instead they chose the very boring (and suspicious) choice of Miss USA.

what an absolute waste of two hours where i could have been reading a book.

karisa is unimpressed

karisa being the unimpressed gymnast

she was all, no really what have you done this year, mister?

no book, no blook, no new crib, no new taxes, no new girlfriend, no new secret blog, no new secret life.

i said i have a new tv.

she was all, that isnt a new tv, its someones old tv, and tvs arent accomplishments.

she was all, you didnt even go to canada in 2012.

YOUVE DONE NOTHING!

meanwhile she’s basically remodeled her home, ended the war on drugs, and gave inspiration to that dude from Red Bull to jump from the moon to earth that one time.

(it was a pre-Festivus feat of strength challenge)

so i promised her that i would do something cool in 2014

and she said, and if you dont, you have to delete the busblog.

i was all, deal!

and then we ate delicious sashimi that was served to us on a huge block of ice which karisa couldnt stop going on about: all her favorite fish were represented: geminis, libras, scorpios, and scallops.

at one point she began to get a tad tipsy and threatened to get up on her chair to show me something.

a woman in a fur kimono was very interested in the semi-scene, as was our waiter who later gave us a gift that was ridiculously generous.

i said why? he said its Christmas.

so we all hugged and sped off in the bitter cold of night.