1. Sunday, December 9, 2012

    the worst news of the weekend 

    for millions of californians the obey winter sample sale means Christmas.
    its ridiculously low prices, terrific selection,
    and super long lines
    allows a community of shepard fairey fans to unite, consume,
    and obey.
    we stand there for hours in the middle of nowhere waiting to hand over our money.
    last year we were subject to dark skies, mediocre food trucks
    and the borderline genius heavy metal coverband whose name now escapes me
    because im heartbroken
    for news just was delivered that the obey winter sample sale 2012
    will not happen.
    the company is “sorry”.
    maybe they read the chat karisa and i had the other day

    me: youre not gonna go to the Obey Sample Sale and get stuff for zsa and your sis?
    karisa: oh- that line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    when is the sample sale?
    and eh
    me: the line wasnt bad last year
    probably next weekend
    karisa: yeah, i wouldn’t really care i guess
    i have 25% off for loehmann’s
    and another 10% on top of it

    maybe they heard that i puked on halloween dressed as the obey giant

    maybe they just dont know that this sale is the very heart of Christmas tradition for many here

    or maybe its just another way for nobama to make us all give up hope and move to canada

    where its easy

    and no one cares how cool your tshirts are.

    last year i went with a young lady who didnt even try on her pants, just bought em

    and slipped them on and they fit like they were painted on her beautiful curves

    they fit so well she slept in them that night (to my dismay)

    and then ran a 10k in them in the morning.

    photo by bicycle mark

    a jacket i bought there fit me so well that when a young bicyclist in amsterdam took a photo of me in it

    the most beautiful dutch girl passing by fell in lust with me and

    obeyed

    my every prurient interest.

    we had children and live a secret life i will explain at a later date.

    but it all started with that little sale.

    that wonderful, wonderful

    and now gone,

    probably forever

     

    sale.