ways i would leave california

california

1. running from the law, the press, or the parents

2. blogger wanted to hire me as vp of rock

3. met a hot babe who’s broke

4. got traded to the dallas mavs

5. the cubs needed a blogger

6. virgin airlines needed an undercover air marshall

7. da bears needed a social media expert named tony pierce

8. the white house wanted an alternative blog to their current snoozefest

9. the stones wanted me to live blog their tour

10. i won the lottery and refused to pay the taxes and had to run from the irs