nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, January 31, 2013
  2. Dear Tony, what sort of Pope would you be? 

    popei’d be a terrible Pope.

    for one I think the Pope is sorta unbiblical.

    Jesus said stuff like “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

    so how could i accept that badass palace (city, actually), sweetass clothes, riches, etc., if my job is supposed to be the middleman between God and humans


    while i am supposed to be Jesus’s biggest cheerleader?

    so if i was Pope i’d have to be the first pope to say “im not as powerful as we’ve been pretending that i’m supposed to be”.

    the second thing is i think condoms are one of man’s finest inventions.

    sadly the Catholic church is super into telling people what to do with their private parts.

    so id have to be the first pope to say “nothing in the bible says you cant have abortions or Trojans”

    imagine the irony of me saying that right outside Rome.

    and finally i think priests who molest little kids should be jailed for a very long time

    and i also think that priests should be allowed to be married and have sex.

    you know, like the original priests, the Sons of Levi, who never did any molestationing

    probs cuz they were hitched to their wives.

    so basically if i were to really keep it biblical, aka, kept it real

    id have to be the anti-pope

    which means id get killed in my sleep.

    which is fine with me because im pretty sure thats exactly how the Good Lord would want the pope to live.

    so id be the best and worst pope of all times.

    thanks for asking.

  3. Wednesday, January 30, 2013

    crazy car chase tonight, maybe you mist it 

    Woman In Blue Reading A Letter





    Continue reading “crazy car chase tonight, maybe you mist it”

  4. if i ever wrote a picture book 

    american apparel ad

    which is something id rather write instead of like a novel

    or a tour book

    or a blogger tell all

    or a secret history of the xbi

    or an autobiography of isla vista

    i would make a book of

    “things i always look at when i drive around LA”.

    it would start with the american apparel billboard next to the burrito king

    at the intersection of Alvarado and Sunset in echo park.

    i think they own it cuz Dov lives nearby.

    i love it because it always changes and sometimes its mildly outrageous.

    if i was AA i would have a live cam on it

    or a new picture every times it changes.

    and have it linked off their website somewhere.

  5. Tuesday, January 29, 2013
  6. after midnight on a school night 


    she was all we should start
    a journalism school.

    I was like oh god no
    I have too many other things to start

    she said like what.

    I said omg:
    unlicensed Internet shrink
    Imma Killya Soul Food Drive Thru
    worlds greatest music blog
    the xbi movie of the week
    flash mob instant cash lottery
    church of rock
    ex con car wash
    Bacon World of Bacon
    omg records
    Tony’s Donuts
    breakfast sold all day
    But My Kid Speaks French

    she said well add j school to that list because I’ve got an idea