the hard part’s telling your mom


she always thinks the xbi is behind everything.

they just want you to fly that stupid helicopter, she said.

if its true, which it isnt, its nice to feel wanted, isnt it, i asked.

“havent they heard of drones!?!?”

i told her about my idea to paint paintings on venice beach.

20 paintings at $20 each would be way more than im making now.

she said, you’ll get skin cancer

i said, i’ll be dressed like Darth Vader

she said people are afraid of Darth Vader

i said, i’ll have a puppy there.

she said, you figured that out as you drove home?

i said, i had the twitter feed set up while i pumped my gas.

then she said, and i quote,

this is a very bad idea.

so now i gotta get two puppies i guess.