i once had a girlfriend break up with me because we lived too far away

awesome welcome mat

but it was even more pathetic than you think

she lived on one side of hollywood and i live on the other.

she would get super frustrated by how long it would take to get to my house

so when this couple (where the lady lives in Santa Monica, and the dude lives in Silver Lake)

say they only see each other on the weekends…

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or that they have to think about

the dogs

and how they need to get go outside to pee,

well, this just may be why the terrorists hate us