ben is one of those guys who’d you’d feel bad shooting if you got to meet him
babes flock to him because he puts bacon in his pants pockets
dudes love him because of his invisible mugs of beer
ben’s phone will be ringing all day today, so dont get freaked if you hear a busy signal
he might be sitting on a chair “visiting” with an old chum
or figuring out a new way to lead something super cool and impossible – so stay tuned
Happy Birthday Ben!
i was all good heavens.
she said no seriously how much of your day is spent selflessly.
as in your intentions is to help without any clear benefit to yourself.
i said im listening to you arent i.
she said you want something out of this.
i said i want everything.
she was like exactly. you want you want you want. you dont think theres time
i said oh trust me i wanna give
she said ok but i bet you dont. she said, what if i said i wanted you to vacuum.
i was all fine.
she said, what about wash my dishes.
she said what about go shoe shopping with me.
how about help me move.
i said ok 2 percent.
she said that means out of every 100 hours, you selflessly give 2 hours to others?
i said yes. she said you a liar. i was all my heavens!
i said ok 1 percent.
she said you a damn liar.
and i said beetlejuice three times but she was still there.