omg it’s ben’s birthday!

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ben is one of those guys who’d you’d feel bad shooting if you got to meet him

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babes flock to him because he puts bacon in his pants pockets

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dudes love him because of his invisible mugs of beer

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ben’s phone will be ringing all day today, so dont get freaked if you hear a busy signal

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he might be sitting on a chair “visiting” with an old chum

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or figuring out a new way to lead something super cool and impossible – so stay tuned

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Happy Birthday Ben!

she said i think you’re more selfish than you think

chewy and j mascis

i was all good heavens.

she said no seriously how much of your day is spent selflessly.

as in your intentions is to help without any clear benefit to yourself.

i said im listening to you arent i.

she said you want something out of this.

i said i want everything.

she was like exactly. you want you want you want. you dont think theres time

to give.

i said oh trust me i wanna give

she said ok but i bet you dont. she said, what if i said i wanted you to vacuum.

i was all fine.

she said, what about wash my dishes.

she said what about go shoe shopping with me.

how about help me move.

i said ok 2 percent.

she said that means out of every 100 hours, you selflessly give 2 hours to others?

i said yes. she said you a liar. i was all my heavens!

i said ok 1 percent.

she said you a damn liar.

and i said beetlejuice three times but she was still there.