whoops, like Taylor Swift’s fan mail, these questions were found mixed with junk mail

taylor swiftDouglas Arellanes asks, Aside from saving ex-XBI agents, what kind of business would you like to start?

i have a million ideas that i aint even rocked yet. some money making, some just good for the world. some just downright disturbing. the business i would like is for people to come to my office, tell me the things they are interested in doing, and either i show them how to improve on it or i give them a better idea entirely. id also like to open a compliment center, where people bring in a box of their stuff or a big purse and hand over $10 and one of my employees showers them with compliments for a good five minutes.

Rebecca asks, What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart? And if life is really as short as they say, then why are the nights so long? And what’s so bad about a Taurus dating a Gemini, anyway?

They say that the body part that heals the quickest is the tongue. That could be the case since it’s always in use. But the heart is also always in use, in any way you want it to be used. Of course it hurts when it breaks, as it should, but that’s all part of this rollercoaster called life and it shouldnt be avoided, resisted, or feared while in search for Greatness. Tauruses shouldnt date Geminis because Geminis are fearless when it comes to that quest whereas Tauruses will settle for mediocrity as long as it’s safe. Geminis couldnt care less about safety and in many cases consider it dull.

Look at these famous Geminis: Tupac, Kanye, Johnny Depp, Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, Ice Cube, Biggie, JFK. Do any of those people sound like people who would sell out on their big time dreams for the same old same old? We got to the moon because a Gemini was creative, courageous, and then did what it took to get it done. If you really think that you’re the special kind of Taurus who will go all-in on You, and not like most of them who will hedge bets, then fine, keep chasing that Gemini, but realize you might be their anchor as opposed to the wind beneath their twins.

There are many signs who appreciate your middle of the road ways. But not air signs. They think in the fourth dimension, including in matters of love.

Bigg Mike asks What would you do if an asteroid were scheduled to destroy the Earth next week?

Tivo it and hope i get to watch it in Heaven.

Monkey asks, What does it mean when a boy kisses you on the back of the side of your neck when you’re hugging goodbye?

It means you should tell him to bite you there next time.