dilema of the day

nintendo deluxe including robot

a young man who works at Best Buy received this perfectly good Nintendo Deluxe classic NES system with box and R.O.B.

the customer was dropping it off so the big box store could recycle it.

the Best Boy employee, who goes by the name “ipoopinthesink” on Reddit, where he told this tale, asked his boss if it would be okay for him to just take it home instead of seeing it get destroyed. the boss told him he would be fired if he took it home.

so the young man took to reddit to ask advice from his peers.

“Save R.O.B.! Save R.O.B!” someone said.

“You’re our only hope, ipoopinthesink.” said someone else.

someone else made this amusing mashup:

you're our only hope

ironically the moral discussion about what he should do veered into the philosophy of strategy on Fallout, a game you can’t play on a Nintendo system. The debate pingponged between playing the game (and thus this decision) between Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, or Lawful Good – styles that originally were created in Dungeons and Dragons.

“In my old game groups there was a popular alignment Chaotic Neutral Good or CNG (which people would make fun of by saying “Compressed Natural Gas”) which seemed to boil down to ‘I’m going to to do what I want and look out for myself, but whenever possible I’m not going to be a dick about that,'” someone wrote.

but any way you look at it, the guy is probably going to have to steal the game.

currently the best advice hes getting on reddit is to have a friend come pick it up by pretending his mom accidentally dropped it off

but technically thats stealing too.

if i was president obama id step in and give him a preemptive Pardon as long as he vowed to give it to a school or and orphanage or a museum or something.

which is why obama should have a social media deputy of funk and hire me duh.

update: Business Insider wrote about it and a few of the commenters are mad at him for exposing it before “the heist”

even when i was in college i felt like the oldest soul

patiencebut at least i could buy booze legally.

was drinking the other night with a pretty girl in her mid 20s who told me in detail

about how she wanted a house and a dog and all these things.

and the money to support them all.

shes a bright young lady in a field that will provide all her wishes.

but shes not there yet, and i told her so.

i said dont worry about the money dont worry about the house

just get super excellent at your skills and all those things will come.

be patient.

and she said how do you know how do you know?

and i said one of the nice things about being 177 years old is

ive seen little baby trees grow as big as a house.

all the burdens and responsibilities that you wanna be locked into


will be yours one day soon. have no fear.

the trick, however, i said while sipping the most delicious IPA, is enjoying the process.

people want to talk to me. i just wanna ESP all day.

yes that' a lion in the sidecar

im fat so im eating carrots. went to trader joes last week and i gotta tell you thats not my spot. but all the smart people i know go there and lo and behold there was some crap there that i didnt mind eating. and it wasnt expensive.

there was a bag of baby carrots. i love carrots if theyre cooked. but i have ADD when it comes to cooking. no patience. the first time i bought a bag of baby carrots, two months ago, i tried to eat them raw. no luck. tried to dip em in guacamole, hummus– it just tasted like dirty rubber in my mouth and i spit it out after a half hour.

florida gulf coast mascot winsthat bag of pretty orange baby carrots turned ashy and i tossed them.

while paying for the new bag of carrots from trader joes the guy behind me said, “WERE THOSE THE LAST BAG OF CARROTS THAT WERE ON SALE?”

hell if i know buddy.

so this bag i didnt wanna throw out, mainly cuz that guy wanted them so bad. so i put 7 or 8 carrots in a paper bowl with a little water in it. just a little.

then i microwaved it with plastic wrap over the bowl. and it steamed those puppies and finally i could eat them.

yesterday i had some cheese puffs in a paper bowl. i was playing NBA Jam on the xbox.

during the timeouts i would just shove the bowl to my face so as not to get the “cheese” powder on my fingers and gum up my precious joystick.

and out of the corner of my eye those cheese puffs looked exactly like baby carrots.

and i felt guilty for about 5 seconds.

then got heartburn a few hours later

i know we’re all gonna die, even me.

i just dont wanna die with cheese puff powder on my nose and lips

like a common junkie.

i want there to be carrots next to me so my fans will think im not dead

i just moved to france or something.