i need to learn how to make rice properly

grohl lisa

love rice.

i dont care if it makes me fat.

one day im gonna be flying up to heaven and sitting next to me will be some dude from another galaxy and he’ll say oh so where are you from

and i’ll say Earth

and he’ll be all, omg the planet that had rice!?

and i’ll go, yep.

and he’ll be all so how do you make it?

and right now i’ll say i go to Zankou and pay FIVE DOLLARS for a large box to go.

when i make myself healthy dishes i open a can of peas, put it in a paper bowl and nuke it on high for two minutes.

then i nuke the zankou rice for one minute and combine bowls.

ive been pretty healthy this last month cuz its cheaper.

my favorite taco joint sells chicken. bbq’ed but not “barbecued”

they dont put bbq sauce on it.

they’re from mexico.

sometimes they give me extra rice and i tip them a dollar.

the other day a pretty girl who hadnt said she loved me in maybe a year, accidentally said it and i laughed to myself inside.

and popped open a coke, which isn’t healthy, but on that flight up to heaven you gotta be ready

if Earth is the only place that has pop.