this is why my mom didnt want me to be a major league pitcher

they get hurt too easily

especially in san diego, which was not a classy place to be tonight.

quentin is a punk and after the game Matt Kemp was looking for him and ran at him in the parking lot i hear.

saying “we’ll see, bitch” to his rival.

san dieger comes into LA next week.

may have to go to that game if quentin isn’t suspended by then.

anne asks “hey Tony, why did someone leave a goat’s head at Wrigley Field? That’s really gross.”

billy goat

in 1945 the owner of the Billy Goat tavern tried to bring his goat, Murphy, into Wrigley Field. the Andy Frain usher would not allow it.

so the dude cursed the team saying “hoobala doobala THE CUBS WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE WORLD SERIES EVER AGAAAAAAAIN”

billy goat

because curses are totally true in Chicago the Cubs never did make it to the World Series ever again.

meanwhile the goat (and the dude) lived on, despite ingesting nothing but beer and cheeseburgers

billy goat

30 years later the Cubs tried to make amends, but it was the 70s and didn’t count

billy goat

they tried it again in the 80s, but that didn’t work neither

meanwhile the Billy Goat Tavern became extremely popular mostly through SNL’s famous skit

meanwhile the Cubs keep losing.

here’s how many games the Cubs have lost over the last five years:

2008: 64
2009: 78
2010: 87
2011: 91
2012: 101

so yes, goats heads are gross, but losing about 10% more of your games each year, year after year is grosser.

thus, we should not only acknowledge the true Cub fan who sends a severed goat head to the Cubs president

but we should celebrate him.

and expect more goats to make their way to the Friendly Confines until the team makes itself back into the October Classic

and hopefully things will turn out differently than what happened in 1945.

the weird moments in YouTube history of the Daytona Cubs

Jorge Soler

yesterday Cuban defector and #1 Cubs prospect Jorge Soler did something practically impossible

he made us think about the Daytona Cubs.

even though he just turned 21 a couple of months ago, he’s on the first year of a 9-year $30 million contract with the chicago cubs.

they dont give 9 year $30 million contracts to 21 year olds normally, but bro isn’t your normal guy. he’s a beast with the bat both between the lines and outside of it.

in the young season the 6-foot-4 jorge is batting .435 with two homers.

yesterday in Daytona Beach he slid into 2nd and either got stepped on by Clearwater Threshers’ second baseman, or they had words with one another and before you could say Con los terroristas there was a bench clearing brawl between the two Class A minor league squads.

“Soler slid hard to break up a DP. The second baseman didn’t like it and said something” Julio Zuleta wrote in the comments of the Cubs blog Bleacher Nation. “They shoved each other. Javy broke it up. Benches cleared, everyone went back to dugout (including Soler).”

And then one of the building blocks of The Great Chicago Cubs World Series Champs of 2015 did this, which is what all got us to think of the Daytona Cubs:

“Soler then left the dugout with a bat, walked across the diamond and hit the [Clearwater dugout] wall, I believe he only hit it once. The announcers speculated it’d be a week suspension. I’d guess two.” according to Zuleta.

Nobody seems to have any video of this brawl and subsequent “personal delivery” which is surprising because the Daytona Cubs have served up two classic videos in recent years.

Remember when this weird drunk heckler guy was tased while being recorded by these giggling super fans?

how about when Daytona Cubs organist Derek Dye was ejected from the game?

seems to me that if ever there was a minor league baseball team that will produce a video of something bizarre happening in a game it’s gonna be the daytona cubs.