for years loyal readers have been privy to the inner workings of my “nephew”

just this past Christmas you watched him do the Gangham style dance with his sister

if you noticed there was a time when he didn’t like to be social

but the xbi saw potential in him and asked me if i was interested in “transitioning” him

i was all, absolutely not, this is a kid who gets dizzy in the teacups at disneyland

and they were like, yeah but he’s also a left hand hitting shortstop capable of anything

i said no way.

and then on the xbi instagram i saw the scar and i was all omg they did it anyways

the xbi likes to put a chip in the back of the head of its agents

mine is fading, but its still there.

welcome to the agency, tyler, enjoy your wooden bathtub. you’ll need it.