nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, May 31, 2013

    when I started at the LAT 

    One of the people I was dying to meet was Bob Pool


    They say be careful meeting your heroes cuz they’re bound to let you down

    But Bob exceeded my expectations

    Telling me takes of a pre 9/11 LATimes

    That had no security

    So politicians and business leaders

    Would storm into the building to track down a journo

    To yell or attempt to influence them

    With booze or blondes or brawn.

    He said it never worked.

    I’m glad he doesn’t have the twitter

    He has way more followers in print.

  2. today is my niece Kyla’s birthday: shes 11! 


    shes awesome.

    somehow she has a cell phone. so i texted her this picture and i said

    every day i see you because youre meditating in my kitchen above my Lakers playoff game ticket

    to the Chairman’s Room club.

    that means you’re very special to me.

    which she is.

    definitely my favorite niece living in Illinois.

    Happy birthday Kyla!!!

  3. Thursday, May 30, 2013

    totally drank with your boy jason ross last night 


    i had about three margaritas and a beer and a taco and im just now mostly recovered


    took the subway and saw a guy get a ticket for not buying a ticket. twas sad.


    i asked Jason where you wanna drink? he said, take me somewhere you love. we went to La Cita and he loved it too.


    after a few there we walked over to seven grand and saw a guy walk from outside to inside and puke. twas gross.973756_10151618133193057_1444231123_n

    not even the artwork wanted to see the literal yuppie scum


    it was nice hanging out with the former nexus editor & chief and walking around DTLA with him


    when i got home i saw this note on the ground and im still trying to figure out how it was used


    decided i need to make some new art


    and maybe get a band formed, as ben suggested

    crazy thing about Jason, he looks exactly the same as he did a zillion years ago

    and is just as funny.


    makes you wanna puke.


  4. how Marvin Gaye’s “Hitch Hike” turned into an R.E.M. cover of the Velvet Underground 

    during the Cubs / Sox crosstown interleague massacre (go Cubs!)

    WGN, on several occasions played the classic Stones tune “Hitch Hike”

    which to any Velvet Underground fans contains a very familiar opening riff

    but the Stones didn’t write the song, which was pretty normal for the time.

    In fact of the dozen tunes on “Out of our Heads” the Glimmer Twins only wrote three songs

    Gotta Get Away, I’m Free, and Heart of Stone.

    Marvin Gaye wrote Hitch Hike, and performed it fabulously on the T.A.M.I. Show

    where it even had it’s own dance move, apparently

    hugely influential songwriter guitarist and singer Lou Reed took that opening riff

    and made it his own in the Velvet Underground hit “Here She Comes Again”

    off the 1967 masterpiece “The Velvet Underground and Nico” produced by Andy Warhol

    the Velvets tune was covered by lots of people including R.E.M. who had it in their set

    as early as 1980, but eventually recorded it and it wound up on 1987’s Dead Letter Office

    along with two other Lou Reed-penned covers “Pale Blue Eyes” and “Femme Fatale”

    but probably the most interesting progression of the Gaye riff

    from Motown the UK to NY back to the UK

    was when Johnny Marr appropriated it a few times in “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out”

    from the 1992 Smiths classic The Queen Is Dead.

    love how that little baby riff hitch hiked its away around the globe

    in into some of the best albums in rock.

  5. Wednesday, May 29, 2013

    today is tony stark’s birthday, he’s 43 

    tony stark birthday

    we’re almost exactly alike. except he likes my little pony more than i do, oh well

    This is a song about a superhero named Tony
    It’s called Tony’s Theme

    He’s got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain
    No baloney
    Ride around on my bicycle like a pony
    I’m waving hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
    Gu-gu-gu-Gimme a scream
    Give me, give me the theme
    Of Tony

    To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny

    I am Tony, super bicycle Tony, I’m racing
    Spitfire turn and pop a wheelie, burn and evil chasing
    I’m waving bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
    I got a card in my spokes
    I’m practicing my joke, I’m learning

    To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny

    This is a song about a superhero named Tony
    It’s called Tony’s Theme

    I can look at the sun if you give me some bad sun glasses
    I’m back on the road, I cut my grass like I’m told

    To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
    To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny

  6. Romero’s Rotisserie Chicken n Donuts 


    Hello and welcome to the first installment The Quest For the Best Damn Chicken in LA

    Today I went to Romero’s Rotisserie Chicken n Donuts.
    it’s at 611 N Virgil Ave in “Silver Lake”
    but it’s really Wilshire Center right near the 101 next to Royal Laundramat.


    Look for the super bright yellow building with the picture of a chicken holding a pink donut


    They’ve got a wood-fired chicken thing going on. Mesquite. You can see the wood by the laundramat.


    And because we live in America, theres donuts, pastries, croisants and danishes sitting right there for ya.


    Romero’s supports Hollywood High, which is nice but weird, since there’s about 5 schools closer to them

    Including the super freaky looking Camino Nuevo Charter Academy in the middle of the road


    they have two tvs including a big screen in the back. they serve Coke and Pepsi. (nearby KFC only serves pepsi.)


    on Tuesdays tacos are just a buck so you could literally pay in change.


    you can sit out front where the action is or in the back and watch the aforementioned big screen.


    i had the half chicken, spanish rice and potato salad.

    the salsa was mild and flavorful and the chicken was moist

    but the skin was the best. tasty, almost crispy somehow.

    the potato salad was also very good. the dude said it was his wifes recipe.

    isnt that what you want, people

    it’s what i want.

    very happy to start the ball rolling with Romero’s Rotisserie Chicken n Donuts

    i did not eat a donut because im watching my weight

  7. Tuesday, May 28, 2013
  8. people do some dumbass things in the name of love 

    fly like a beagle

    and in the name of god or country or work.

    they do things that they know aren’t nice or right or visionary or kosher.

    but they do em anyway and they try to get it out of their head and they go to bed.

    and in the morning is a new day.

    and hopefully they do something good that day.

    i love chicken. some may say eating meat is murder and they actually do have a point.

    but i am a black man. and next to my momma and grape soda, i love chicken the most.

    i also find myself currently with a lot of time on my hands while living dead center in the middle of one of the coolest cities in the whole wide world: if not the coolest.

    especially for chicken.

    for, you see, we have black folk, mexican folk, asian folk, armenian folk, and white folk all making delicious chicken dishes every day in this crazy metropolis

    for sale.

    in order to honor the chickens who gave their lives for our nourishment, im thinking i should probably go to a different joint about 3-4 times each week to eat, document, and ultimately rate the establishments so as to determine

    the best chicken in all of LA

    and i might have to start it today.

    if you know of any places i shouldn’t miss feel free to tell me somehow.