it was a tough week for bree, she and her man split up

bree1

as a reader of her blog, twitter and instagram i knew it was affecting her greatly

but then last night i was very nervous when she tweeted “here’s what i’m thinking

with a link to this image of some ominous writing on her wrist.

so i texted her and said she probably should drink or nap or stay away from sharp objects.

she said she was very interested in sharp objects

and i was all, well sometimes its ok when people cut us off

because maybe that means they weren’t right for us. not everyones gonna get you.

and sometimes those are the people you want to understand you the most.

she was all blah blah blah whatevs tony

BRING ME THE SHARP OBJECTS OF PERMANENCE

bree2

thank God she was merely talking about – and then getting – her first tattoo.

whew.

x straight edge x

in the barbers chair

the month of gemini does weird things to some people. myself included.

I can be in a boutique hotel room with a pretty girl and she’ll say something and I’ll wanna kisser and a song will come on and I’ll think kissing is the dumbest thing ever.

or I can be handed a fat cheque by the xbi in a pasadena tavern and have the overwhelming desire to shave my undercover beard

and get a pervy ridiculous cop stache knowing I’ll be ruthlessly yelled at by the agency immediately.

walked into the “YMCA Barbershop” on a Wedsnedsay afternoon and was immediately identified by Chau and Wing who’ve been cutting agents’ hair for years.

you guys do nice old fashioned shaves, I asked. Wing knew I was bad news and said they didn’t do that there, even though there were only four things on the sign.

Shave is $16 Chau chimed in, not giving one damn. agents do whatever they please. may as well make $20 after tip I heard him think via ESP.

In a few minutes I was in the chair and there was a hot towel on my face and it was nice. Soon there was hot shaving cream on there. I kept my eyes closed and thought good thoughts.

The good thing about the straight blade from a real barber is it only takes one pass to get the beard off. Chau had incredible touch. No nicks. No oops. And a faint smell of tobacco on his breath.

Was I worried being in such a vulnerable position. Millimeters away from tragedy?

We are always millimeters away from tragedy. And now I look 15 years younger.

And exactly like a cop.

tony the cop

mission accomplished