best laid plans of uber drivers and unemployed men

hot wheels

good thing for me nothing in here is true but i believe the City of LA today outlawed

Lyft, Uber, and Sidecar

aka my brilliant plan to drive people around LA without having to be a taxi driver.

my mom hates my idea because she thinks it’s dangerous

but i enjoy driving. i love LA. and strangers are some of my favorite people.

also i believe in the Lord, and I don’t worry too much about dying

especially while driving a hipster cab hailed from people via their iPhones.

anyways i was thisclose to trading in the sportscar for the Ford C-Max

aka the Prius Killer and then driving around LA at rates lower than cabs.

but the City of LA seems to hate revenue.

they keep trying to figure out ways to “control” the medical marijuana dispensaries

even though there doesnt seem to be any problems with it even tho there are lots of pot shops

and now theyre trying to put the noose on the Uber model.

heres the thing about the Free Market: it usually works.

if 1,500 tax-paying pot shops don’t increase crime, then let them all exist

if Uber, Lyft, and Sidecar add an alternative to transporting people around this city as opposed to limos, cabs, and Craigslist “friends”, then let them roll.

wasn’t America supposed to be the land of the free?

just tax them, which should be easy, and when a problem occurs, either let the very capable auto insurance industry handle it

or then enact some sort of legislation that says “you must have a car no older than 10 years old, and carry sorta expensive insurance”.

and then get the heck out of the way of progress.

now ive gotta get a real job.

i know people are scared out there

storm trooperssome dont want to be like their parents
or make the same mistakes as their parents
so they do things they know arent right

some totally wanna be like their parents
and have all the things their parents had
so they do things they dont know are wrong

sometimes i feel like i should wait until the very last day im on the earth
before i have a kid
that way i wont poison the mind of that little blank slate
but thats probably not the right thing to do either

there is no right thing to do
but man oh man are there a bunch of wrong things to do.
trust me, i’ve doed them.

but the one thing you cannot do thats wrong
is think about what in your heart you love to do
and do that.

even if its evil.

oh wait, ok dont do evil
even if its what you love to do.
write about evil in books
save beautiful loving creative courageous things for real life.

i know its scary.

but youre gonna be scurred anyways.

may as well have something your kids can look back later and say

wow, mom and dad sure didnt give one damn about anything
they just went for it
and holy guacamole did they rock.

in heaven i hope to eat some of that holy guacamole.