1. Saturday, June 15, 2013

    every boy is another boys hero 

    smokingwhen i was a little kid my mom let me sign up for pop warner football

    huge mistake

    i was great at all sports but for some reason i hadnt thought that maybe it was a bad idea to allow big kids to run me over

    literally knock me down and run me over.

    even though i was only 9 when this was going on i remember a line from the rule book

    it was on page two and it said

    show class on the field for every boy is another boys hero.

    xbi doc was sorta right when he told be to stop popping the generic allergy pills

    turned out i wasnt as sick as i thought but today my body was sorta freaking out

    so i puked, felt miserable, was hungry, was achey,

    i even passed out on the sofa at 7:30pm watching the stanley cup

    which is something i never ever ever do.

    went food shopping. everything annoyed me. everything.

    a few years ago when i was unemployed after the times i was the prettiest girl at the dance

    people i never heard of literally wined and dined me.

    i had job offers for days.

    this time its been super great to be a single man in southern california with a fast car and an extended spring break but ether there aint no dance

    or theres some prettier girls cuz people arent even writing me back.

    even though Sweetness was my favorite nfl player, you couldnt model yourself after him because he was super human

    instead i think about joe montana a lot. totally human. not fast, not strong, not terribly mobile.

    but he had a stillness about him – his aura – his personality. no matter what came his way he was all: ‘sup.

    when i was at e! i had a boss who threw everything he could at me and when i didnt blink he took me into a meeting room one day and said

    i know you think youre mr cool but youre not. he pounded his fist on the table, he stuttered, he even sweated a little.

    i said boss i ride the bus, you barely pay me anything, how on earth do you think that i think im mr cool

    all around us were tvs with movie stars and musicians and rich people.

    i was wearing a tshirt that said busblog.

    but what he was keying in on was that weird stoney joe montana semi confidence that was all oh we have to march down the field

    with no time outs and one minute on the clock and its snowing and we’re in green bay. m’kay.

    you are like that to someone.

    they are rooting for you.

    i am too.