this is an ad i never thought id see in my lifetime

apparently this weekend NASCAR is gonna have a a few big races and hundreds of thousands of the attendees may see this inexpensive but funny ad for weed.

i question a few things in the claims it makes. specifically the fat dude’s belly and the skinny woman’s.

from what i’ve read in the newspapers is weed gives you the munchies.

in fact some people i’ve talked to here in LA were prescribed medical marijuana cards so the mysterious plant could help stimulate their appetite.

cigarrettes are good for you says chesterfieldin fact some people i’ve talked to here in LA were prescribed medical marijuana cards so the mysterious plant could help stimulate their appetite.

while its true that the herb doesnt have nearly as many calories, per se, as compared to booze, its effects have a, uh, high probability of inducing caloric intake.

that is both a benefit and a feature for some. but something that should be warned about for others.

if the people behind this advertisement want to be taken seriously, they should avoid the embarrassing path that Big Tobacco took when they said ridiculous things like cigarettes were good for you.

mary jane will make you thin is just as insane.

here’s another thing i would do if i was the weed lobby wanting to be taken seriously: i would make the next commercial in a serious manner. i would put the Church in it.

flip open your bibles to page 2.

Genesis:1 29-31 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

It was so good he took the next day off. And he said that was good too.

If I was the weed lobby I would ask the Catholic Church and all the other bible reading churches where does God say in the bible that he has an exception to the all the green plants are here for you goodness?

I would ask them, where in the bible does God say that plant I made that makes you laugh and eat tacos was a mistake. Takebacks!

if part of this relatively recent (historically) stigma onto cannabis is due to some moral mumbojumbo why not just talk to the moral majority itself?

hard for me to believe that the branch of government so uniquely tied to wine would be so morally against weed when in page two of their most holy text their Creator gave it the seal of approval after He made it.

in fact show me one story in that bible where the evil weed is evil. i can show you a few where wine was.

what i would hope to hear from the Church is something along the lines of Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit”.

which to me says, don’t go loco with what can block the spiritual high, which is attainable, you crazy kids…

that is, if you’re ready for that trip.

today is mick jagger’s birthday, he’s 24

greatest frontman in all of rock

better than robert plant

better than roger daltrey

better than freddie mercury (barely)

even better than ozzy

even though ozzy could do one thing that mick never could: successfully go solo.

which is fine, if you ask me, because not enough people realize that the whole is bettern the sum of its parts

and if theres one thing the stones have taught us it’s mick, keef and charlie

is way better than mick, keef, or charlie.

happy birthday monkey man.

today is the 16th anniversary of when matt and emmaunelle got hitched in france

matt and emmanuelle

how often do you go to france? especially the center of france? a place that has white chocolate cows with creamy nougat in the middle?

how often do your friends get married in a castle? dressed like buddy holly wearing a yellow chuck berry jacket?

to a classy chic french woman like none youve ever met before?

how often do all your other friends come with you even though none of you has any money to travel to no france

in the middle of summer, and then take la gare to a town that no one seems to have heard of.

(fortunately we had a hand drawn map)

but the thing you realize is money and time are merely dumb excuses not to do things most of the time

and they disappear into the air when the idea of a week long european party with your amigos is presented to you.

a trip you’ll never forget ever, a wedding so beautiful that every single part of it was beautiful.

including this little story about the bride’s family.

for gazillions of years emmanuelle’s family ran the little cow town of Joncy

an adorable village that Parisians would escape to when they wanted to “holiday” (aka drink).

one day the family was voted out of office and they were so sad.

soon the nazis showed up, for it was the 1940s and thats what nazis did to lots of french towns back then.

and the nazis said take us to your leader. and the people pointed to the new leader who had recently won the election.

and the nazis took the new leaders to a nearby barn and set the barn on fire.

eventually the nazis were defeated and emannuelle’s family was restored to their role of leadership.

where they sit to this very day.

the lesson here is, to me, dont freak out when things dont go your way.

they might be totally going your way in the big picture.

previous coverage:

their 15th anniversary

their ninth anniversary

their fifth anniversary

 photo credit: the great Jim Lowney

first time i ever got drunk was in winona, minnesota

princess diana and john travolta

let the record state that i was not of legal drinking age.

but winona is a college town and far as i remember the bar didnt even ask for an ID

probably because it knew that no one had a valid ID so why even bother with the dance.

one of many reasons why i will always love the midwest.

i believe i was 19. i barely drank in high school, my friends barely did anything.

sure i got served a few times at wrigley at 16 or 17 but you cant get drunk off one old style.

this bar gave you four poker chips for a dollar. each chip got you an 8 ounce beer.

when i had finished my fourth beer i noticed my buddy todd talking to a girl

who i swore looked exactly like princess diana.

when todd went to the head to take a leak i said you look so much like lady di im dying

she giggled and blushed and i went on to babbling with the stack of napkins

or my other friends, or the juke box, who knows. i was wasted.

we all got back to todd’s apartment and he took her into his room and someone poured wine.

but i excused myself to the bathroom and i laughed as i puked because i was so drunk.

the puke went everywhere cuz i couldnt stop laughing and all of it was very funny to me.

after i cleaned up everything i got out of the bathroom and passed out shirtless on the couch

and didnt wake until the morning

when i heard todd open his door and kiss his girl good day.

let the record state she didnt look anything like princess diana

not one lick.