grocery stores need to get it together

happy girls holding hands

ive been using my Vons Club card for probably 100 years now. they should know me pretty well by now.

they know i eat canned generic peas and string beans.

busthey know i eat bananas and drink coke.

and buy two avocados every trip.

id pay them $5 extra a visit if it was all bagged and charged to my debit card before i ever stepped in the door.

and i bet you would too.

And sure Vons wants me to go in there and stroll the aisles for point of sale and impulsive purchases

but that can be done with the verification email that’s generated

any time i text Vons from my phone

to tell them that I’m coming in in a few minutes to get my regular order.

it can say something like “Lucky for you today is Friday! You can get a whole Boston creme pie for just $5 today. Add this to order?”

Have like 8-10 add-on suggestions in the email that i can say yes or no to

and boom youve talked me into all the things that you either want to get rid of

or things you know i’ll love but only rarely buy.


make it easy by letting me text Vons when i have arrived in the parking lot

and watch as peoples faces light up when one of those nice young employees

rolls out my cart full of crap.

thats already been charged to my stupid bank card. and all i have to do is sign for it like a Boss.

best of all: it will cut down on lines at the checkout.