even though i wasn’t crazy about Machete, i will probably have to see the sequel

sofia vergara in machete killsnot only does it star my girlfriend sofia vergara but look who else is in this loco film

Danny Trejo as Machete Cortez
Michelle Rodriguez as Luz / Shé
Mel Gibson as Luther Voz
Jessica Alba as Sartana Rivera
Carlos Estévez (Charlie Sheen) as the President of the United States
Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio
Lady Gaga as La Chameleón
Antonio Banderas as Gregorio Cortez
Zoe Saldana as Liza
Edward James Olmos as Sonny I. LaVista
Vanessa Hudgens as Cereza
Cuba Gooding Jr. as El Cameleón
William Sadler as Sheriff Doakes
and twins: Electra and Elise Avellan as Nurse Mona and Nurse Lisa

how am i not supposed to see this?

For some reason director Robert Rodriguez is comparing it to Empire Strikes Back and hinting that if there’s a third Machete it will be something along the lines of Machete Kills: In Space.

Hopefully R2D2’s Mexican cousin, R2DDos will make a cameo in the that one.

Also if it does come out I hope it plays at the Vista because last time it was super great to see the manager dressed up as the hero.

But here’s what I also hope. I hope Rodriguez puts a little more time and effort into the sequel than he did in the original. Sure there were some really good scenes and some outrageous situations, but it made me think about how much better his movie was than Quentin’s in that Grindhouse double feature.

Quentin is my boy, and I think I’m gonna be watching Django tonight for the first time since seeing it in the movies, but no way was Planet Terror better than Death Proof. RR clearly considered it a competition and QT obviously thought he could just skate on through.

To me Machete was a skate and put too much pressure on Danny to just be Danny and figure that that was enough.

No, you also need a good story to go along with Lindsay Lohan and that crazy cast.

Machete don’t text, however, may have been the best line in movies in 2010.

machete two amber herd