theres a very hairy cat living under my house


i know this to be true because i saw it crawling under the house when i opened my door to get the paper

elmo balloons pinata

also i know because im allergic to cats and my gnose has been saying wtf tony seriously w t royal f


this cat has big sad eyes like those paintings of cats and clowns and kids dancing from the 70s


so i put water in a tuperware bowl and i caught it drinking it and then laying in the dirt like it was the best water ever


decided if i ever saw it again id name it Dirrty because its the only long haired cat i knew who liked the dirt so


was in the grocery store and the saran wrap was next to the cat food and i considered buying some but


i figured i have two new neighbors. one on one side, one on the other, maybe they wanna adopt a cat


or maybe this is their cat already they just like to let it be free like abe lincoln so i didnt buy none


then this morning i heard an odd noise. seems the cat durn scared the squirrel up the durn evergreen


the squirrel was making hey scram cat sounds but that cat dont know the language of squirrels


and just stared up there with those big dumb eyes. laying in the cool morning dirt.

fine wine

not even knowing this is hollywood.